I yuk'd it up after this one

In the grocery store

Friend: "What's a yucca root for?"

Me: "Laughs"

Everyone groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeekingAFix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2014
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RL yuks

Daughter goofing around put a Mr Potato Head hairpiece on Dad's head. "There, now you have a toupee!"

Dad replies, "I already have a lot of 'to-pays'. Electric bill, mortgage, cable, phone..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjbrasda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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Why don't sharks eat clownfish?

Because they taste funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantity_Weary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Alligators can grow up to 15 feet

But most have only four

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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Why are deers balls are the cheapest meat you can buy?

Because they are under a buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vulker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I cracked open an egg and all this yellow goo came out.

I was like: is this some kind of yolk?!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Posting for my husband.

He doesn't have a Reddit account old enough to post this one!

In his words:

Not sure if I've heard this one before somewhere, but it made me laugh when it popped in my head when I was waking up. The kids, however, thought it was lame! Here goes:

Why did the baker feel crap?...

Because he kneaded one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetelyseblog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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My wife got FURIOUS with me for having no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeves14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Hey look, free of charge!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_vengeful_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Did anybody wake greenday up?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ringboard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
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My pregnant wife will only ever tell one dad joke

Because in labor is only time she is kidding

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rbirnie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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If I had a cloning machine, I'd be beside myself.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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What kind of beans are in God's burrito?

Holy Frijoles!

(PS this is original as far as I can tell, so proud yuk yuk)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aviddd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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I can paddle a boat.

Canoe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowhlr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2017
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a sad time for dad-joking at the office.

I have this ongoing thing at the office where whenever this one middle-aged guy (call him Andy) gets a haircut, I say, "Hey Andy, you got a haircut" and Andy, without fail dadjokes me with "I got them ALL cut" and then we yuk it up in the hallway ... this has gone on for years and years, until recently, when Andy decided that due to male-pattern baldness, he would completely shave his head. Now it is not as funny to tell Andy he got his hair cut, because literally he got them ALL cut and it just looks like I am making fun of him. (:(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xRVAx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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Dad dropped this one while driving through our town.

Me: "Hey dad is the old courthouse made of granite?"

Dad: "I dont know, but we definitely take it for granite"

Yuk yuk yuk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BroImTheShit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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