- whatโ€™s your name?
  • nick
  • what is it short for?
  • Nickname.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/axaxamasha
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Someone: I like your name!

Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Logandalf2002
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?

Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/amar610
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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If you name your daughter Margarita, when she talks back or gets sassy you can say,

"I didn't ask for salt on the rim Margarita!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bthemau
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.

Because your parents are Foster parents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smakattak
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Iโ€™d first like to make sure this thing is working. If your name is Michael, please stand up.

That concludes the mike check

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SZT2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Son: Dad, why did you name your pet tarantula James Bond?

Dad: Because itโ€™s a Spy Duh!!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RedWing_16
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Never name your daughter Fortune

Because she'll grow to be MissFortune.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/duckyduck750
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Interviewer: what's your name? Me: Hired.

Interview: You're hired? Me: Thanks for the job!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sb4410
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Is your name Michael? Yes or No?

Thank you for your participation.

I'm doing a Mike Check.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/icemage27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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3D Print Shop Name pun that blows your brains out

Im opening a 3D Printing Shop and I need that million dollar name. Something that makes you look at it and think " F*ck that's one of those names that sells itself ".

Trusting reddit community for the edgiest puns or mindless creativity.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Marjers
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Her: No boo, I meant who and said your name. Ray: Why are you booing me?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Iamexceptional
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What would you name your boat?

If I had a boat I'd name it Dylan, because of all the drug Dylan I'd have to do to afford it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/brohymn1416
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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What would you name your pet pig?

Chris P Bacon

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Blazing_Storm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Whatโ€™s the perfect name to give to your first sim?

Simone

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wxlson
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jeffersonโ€ฆ He said, โ€œBut dad, your name is Brian.โ€ I said, โ€œI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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When your partner's name is Martin
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sarahsaurus1993
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Nicknames that make your name longer should be called

Nicholasnames

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chath
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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What do you do when your female teacher says your name wrong?

You teacher

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Slymood
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Your first name can highly influence your chances for pregnancy.

Like a Sophia has higher chance of getting pregnant in comparison of an Andrew.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/markandor_001
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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What's your name?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Berkelium_BK
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.

Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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I know this has been asked here before but can yall do your thing and make a pun on my name?

My name is Naomi Pronounced "neigh- oh-me". "mayo" and "gay" related puns have already been used on me by multiple friends but I want to know if there's anything better out there THANKS

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notcallipygian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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A student visits the principalโ€™s office one day and the principal says to him, โ€œWhatโ€™s your name, son?โ€ He replies, โ€œD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.โ€ The principal looks up and asks him, โ€œOh, do you have a stutter?โ€

The student replies, โ€œNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 75
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/puggoamber
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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As I am checking out, I read his nametag and I ask the large black male cashier, "did your momma really name you Amanda?"

I was very surprised that he responded : "Yes, because I am A Man!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigfatfloppyjolopy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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1 boy was named trouble and the other was called shutup. One day trouble got lost so shutup went to the police station and said โ€˜I lost my brotherโ€™. The police said โ€˜what is your nameโ€™ โ€˜shutupโ€™ the police said โ€˜what did you say to meโ€™ โ€˜shutupโ€™. The police said โ€˜are you looking for troubleโ€™ โ€˜yepโ€™
๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/meme-for-me
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I've got ยฃ20 here with your name on it!

http://imgur.com/gallery/u9373nJ

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jettonx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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- Whatโ€™s your name, sir?
  • itโ€™s Lucas, without a โ€œwโ€.

  • wait a minute. Lucas has no โ€œwโ€.

  • and what did I just say?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Saazkwat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...

"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Whatโ€™s the name of the guy who takes care of your lawn?

Moe

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/labink
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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name your dog Christopher

When you take them for a walk, youโ€™ll be Christopher Walken.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DSFII
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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If your math teacher's name is Craig, every spreadsheet he makes is a Craigslist
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/donttellanyonebut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Is your name Ariel...

Because I think we were mermaid for each other.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kerlandays
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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When OP made such a good post you name your kid after him.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ralph3576
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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My wife showed me a website where you can send your name on a microchip on the Mars 2020 Rover.

I told her I'm glad the rover is not going to Uranus.

Wesbite for those interested in sending their name to Mars and not Uranus

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lobbanisgod
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Doctor: Hi, my name is Juan, and Iโ€™ll be delivering your baby.

Dad: OB Juan, youโ€™re our only hope.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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LIFE HACK: Name your next child something normal.

Me: Are you still mad that your mother and I named you Life Hack?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/analytik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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My voicemail Says "leave your name and number..."

Every time my dad calls, he leaves a voicemail saying "Dad, Number 1."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HighlightTime
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jeffersonโ€ฆ He said, โ€œBut dad, your name is Brian.โ€ I said, โ€œI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Policeman: What is your name?

Me: The Wizard of Oz

Policeman: Your FULL name...

Me: (quietly) the Wizard of ounces

๐Ÿ‘︎ 74
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stoatwobbler
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2019
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, โ€œBut dad, your name is Brian.โ€

I replied, โ€œI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 182
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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