"Whatโs your name, son?"
The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it โWhatโs your name? Where do you live? Whatโs that on your back?โ
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︎ Apr 05 2021
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel thatโs completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is โimprovementโ.
Because thereโs always room for improvement.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Someone: I like your name!
Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday
๐︎ 8k
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?
Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
- whatโs your name?
- nick
- what is it short for?
- Nickname.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
If you name your daughter Margarita, when she talks back or gets sassy you can say,
"I didn't ask for salt on the rim Margarita!"
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︎ Nov 28 2020
If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.
Because your parents are Foster parents.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Is your name Michael? Yes or No?
Thank you for your participation.
I'm doing a Mike Check.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Never name your daughter Fortune
Because she'll grow to be MissFortune.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Son: Dad, why did you name your pet tarantula James Bond?
Dad: Because itโs a Spy Duh!!
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Iโd first like to make sure this thing is working. If your name is Michael, please stand up.
That concludes the mike check
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︎ Nov 05 2020
3D Print Shop Name pun that blows your brains out
Im opening a 3D Printing Shop and I need that million dollar name. Something that makes you look at it and think " F*ck that's one of those names that sells itself ".
Trusting reddit community for the edgiest puns or mindless creativity.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Interviewer: what's your name? Me: Hired.
Interview: You're hired?
Me: Thanks for the job!
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Her: No boo, I meant who and said your name. Ray: Why are you booing me?
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︎ May 03 2020
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jeffersonโฆ He said, โBut dad, your name is Brian.โ I said, โI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ
๐︎ 1k
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︎ Oct 17 2019
What would you name your boat?
If I had a boat I'd name it Dylan, because of all the drug Dylan I'd have to do to afford it.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
Whatโs the perfect name to give to your first sim?
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︎ May 14 2020
What would you name your pet pig?
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Nicknames that make your name longer should be called
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︎ Jan 10 2020
When your partner's name is Martin
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︎ Apr 19 2020
What's your name?
๐︎ 3k
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︎ Apr 02 2018
Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.
Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
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︎ Mar 22 2018
What do you do when your female teacher says your name wrong?
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︎ Jun 13 2020
I know this has been asked here before but can yall do your thing and make a pun on my name?
My name is Naomi
Pronounced "neigh- oh-me".
"mayo" and "gay" related puns have already been used on me by multiple friends but I want to know if there's anything better out there
THANKS
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︎ Jul 14 2019
A student visits the principalโs office one day and the principal says to him, โWhatโs your name, son?โ He replies, โD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.โ The principal looks up and asks him, โOh, do you have a stutter?โ
The student replies, โNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.โ
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︎ Jun 15 2019
1 boy was named trouble and the other was called shutup. One day trouble got lost so shutup went to the police station and said โI lost my brotherโ. The police said โwhat is your nameโ โshutupโ the police said โwhat did you say to meโ โshutupโ. The police said โare you looking for troubleโ โyepโ
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︎ Jun 07 2019
As I am checking out, I read his nametag and I ask the large black male cashier, "did your momma really name you Amanda?"
I was very surprised that he responded : "Yes, because I am A Man!"
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︎ Dec 02 2019
- Whatโs your name, sir?
๐︎ 23
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︎ Jun 21 2019
I've got ยฃ20 here with your name on it!
http://imgur.com/gallery/u9373nJ
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︎ Aug 23 2019
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Whatโs the name of the guy who takes care of your lawn?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Nov 02 2019
If your math teacher's name is Craig, every spreadsheet he makes is a Craigslist
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︎ Dec 17 2018
name your dog Christopher
When you take them for a walk, youโll be Christopher Walken.
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︎ Jul 23 2019
When OP made such a good post you name your kid after him.
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︎ Apr 25 2018
Is your name Ariel...
Because I think we were mermaid for each other.
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︎ Jul 08 2019
My voicemail Says "leave your name and number..."
Every time my dad calls, he leaves a voicemail saying "Dad, Number 1."
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︎ Mar 17 2015
Doctor: Hi, my name is Juan, and Iโll be delivering your baby.
Dad: OB Juan, youโre our only hope.
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︎ Mar 14 2019
My wife showed me a website where you can send your name on a microchip on the Mars 2020 Rover.
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︎ May 23 2019
LIFE HACK: Name your next child something normal.
Me: Are you still mad that your mother and I named you Life Hack?
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︎ Jun 28 2018
Name idea for buttons you can press on your computer to get around programs faster.
imgur.com/ZR5eGBg
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︎ Jun 17 2016
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jeffersonโฆ He said, โBut dad, your name is Brian.โ I said, โI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ
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︎ Nov 06 2019
Policeman: What is your name?
Me: The Wizard of Oz
Policeman: Your FULL name...
Me: (quietly) the Wizard of ounces
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︎ May 28 2019
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, โBut dad, your name is Brian.โ
I replied, โI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ
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︎ Jun 22 2018
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