Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Why havenβt aliens visited our Solar System yet?
They looked at the reviews... only 1 star
π︎ 7k
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Kevin James Franco in his best role yet!
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︎ May 11 2021
I was standing in line waiting to have my hair cut, when I noticed that no one had started a fire yet.
I thought, "This is a shit barber queue."
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︎ Apr 16 2021
We donβt have any vegetable jokes on this Subreddit yet...
So if you do, lettuce know.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Has anyone read the prequel to Hamlet yet ?
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︎ Apr 22 2021
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"
A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Dad: *Watching cop show with daughter late at night* Dad: Time for bed kiddo! Daughter: Iβm not tired yet though!
Dad: Pretending to be a dispatcher Yeah, sheβs resisting arrest
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︎ Apr 19 2021
An unintended yet still intended pun
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Yet another job lost to machines
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My son's not even one yet, and he's Walken already.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
My best pun yet
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︎ Feb 23 2021
The furniture store called me back yet again
all I wanted was that one night stand tho...
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Yet another from my 10 year old: What do you call a boomerang that doesnβt come back?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if sheβd had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, βSo youβre de-Claritin that youβve had it already?β
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Have y'all been to the new sausage restaurant yet?
To be quite Frank, it's the wurst.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Twenty Twenty won, and we're not out of the water yet! 2022 is Twenty Twenty too!
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︎ Jan 02 2021
So Iβm at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still donβt know because he hasnβt opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
βDad, I knew that story wasnβt real because you donβt have any friendsβ
π»π»ππβ οΈβ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I just got my husband with my best one yet
I said, βwhat have I told you about leaving the power tools out where the dogs can reach them?β
He looked really confused and said βWhat? I didnβt leave anything outβ
βbecause the dog is over here sawing some logs!β
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet
But I'm sure more may flower in time.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet
Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Why havenβt aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
My coworker asked what itβs called when you ask something but havenβt gotten an answer yet.
I told him thatβs an outstanding question.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
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︎ Apr 30 2020
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined itβs momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I made this. Do you hate me yet?
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Knot finished with this format yet
π︎ 6k
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Does anyone know if we can start taking showers yet?
Or are we still just washing our hands?
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︎ May 16 2020
This isnβt mine and I donβt know who made it, but itβs been on my phone for so many years and I havenβt seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
hopefully this wasnt posted here yet; found this on r/memes
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I saw yet another fence joke but this one seemed a bit out of line
So I offered to repost it
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Has this been posted here yet?
π︎ 4k
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︎ May 01 2019
I swear I ordered the sirloin, yet they brought me a t- bone
Apparently I have been mistaken.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Envelope: βare we there yet? Iβm worried weβre not going to make it!β
Mailman: βIβll keep you postedβ
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Are the Americans awake yet?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Iβm drawing a picture of a zoo animal, but Iβm not finished yet.
Itβs just a rough giraffe.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
During the quarantine, my 4 year old has been learning Spanish. Yet, he still canβt say please.
Which I think is poor for four.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Are we there yet?
π︎ 56
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︎ Apr 16 2020
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star
π︎ 101
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Why havenβt aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
π︎ 56
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
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