Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......

"Ah still love Vista Baby....."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?

They looked at the reviews... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belpix0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Kevin James Franco in his best role yet!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FFPOE
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I was standing in line waiting to have my hair cut, when I noticed that no one had started a fire yet.

I thought, "This is a shit barber queue."

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
We don’t have any vegetable jokes on this Subreddit yet...

So if you do, lettuce know.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Has anyone read the prequel to Hamlet yet ?

Piglet!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"

A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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Dad: *Watching cop show with daughter late at night* Dad: Time for bed kiddo! Daughter: I’m not tired yet though!

Dad: Pretending to be a dispatcher Yeah, she’s resisting arrest

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
An unintended yet still intended pun
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Yet another job lost to machines
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeMrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My son's not even one yet, and he's Walken already.
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My best pun yet
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Habeto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
The furniture store called me back yet again

all I wanted was that one night stand tho...

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Yet another from my 10 year old: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angus-Mackenzie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Have y'all been to the new sausage restaurant yet?

To be quite Frank, it's the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/majestic_walrus1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Twenty Twenty won, and we're not out of the water yet! 2022 is Twenty Twenty too!
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeCarrie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...

And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me

β€˜Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’

πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ’€πŸ’€β˜ οΈβ˜ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.

I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I just got my husband with my best one yet

I said, β€œwhat have I told you about leaving the power tools out where the dogs can reach them?”

He looked really confused and said β€œWhat? I didn’t leave anything out”

β€œbecause the dog is over here sawing some logs!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaxinthebox14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet

But I'm sure more may flower in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.

I told him that’s an outstanding question.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
πŸ‘︎ 680
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I made this. Do you hate me yet?
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lianrhod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Knot finished with this format yet
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Extrahub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know if we can start taking showers yet?

Or are we still just washing our hands?

πŸ‘︎ 368
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hirsty19784
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkRune23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
hopefully this wasnt posted here yet; found this on r/memes
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?

Well, it's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustHumanGarbage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw yet another fence joke but this one seemed a bit out of line

So I offered to repost it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/codeninjaking42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Has this been posted here yet?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mythoclast-
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I swear I ordered the sirloin, yet they brought me a t- bone

Apparently I have been mistaken.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManicMuncy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Envelope: β€œare we there yet? I’m worried we’re not going to make it!”

Mailman: β€œI’ll keep you posted”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Are the Americans awake yet?
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TelepathicPsych
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...

"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m drawing a picture of a zoo animal, but I’m not finished yet.

It’s just a rough giraffe.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
During the quarantine, my 4 year old has been learning Spanish. Yet, he still can’t say please.

Which I think is poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donkeyknuckles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Are we there yet?
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCBeauty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought this belong here to (hope nobody posted it here yet) /r/Jokes/comments/ifow41/…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plap12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Termin201
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawzeeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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