Tune it, will yah?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleJ160
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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How many hands am I holding up?

If you ever accidentally smack your kid in the face and they say ow my eyes is blurry, or if they bump their face etc

Say β€œah buddy u ok? Can u see? How many hands am I holding up?

Then proceed to hold up one hand with four fingers.

The kid will most often say 4. Then you make the dad face.

β€œ4 hands!?!? Yah we might have a problem!”

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuskIsAlien
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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"Knock Knock"

Who's there?

"Yah"

Yah who?

".com"

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaynesky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Bad knock-knock joke #6

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Yah.

Yah who?

Why the hell do you not use Google?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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How do eastern Europeans save while playing video games

They reach czechpoints

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Remember those periods of 24 hours that made up weeks

Yah, those were the days

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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My father in law attempted a dad joke. I ruined it.

Father in law: Have you ever seen pine nuts?

Me: Yah why?

FIL: How did you get it to spread it's legs(snickers)

Me: Log splitter (drinks beer)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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Every time we go out to eat...

When someone doesn't finish their food. The waiter/waitress inevitably asks,"You wanna' box for that?" To which my dad responds, "no, but I'll wrestle yah for it!"

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SLEESTAK85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Pirate's favorite letter?

YAH'D THINK IT'S AN 'RRR' BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE C!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DADDYmilk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought. "Praise the Lord!" he shouted. "Praise the Lord!" And the horse kept speeding up. The stable behind them was no longer visible.

But the horse and the buyer were speedily approaching a huge canyon. Seeing this ahead, the buyer commanded, "St- stop! Whoaaa, horse!" But the horse kept the charge forward. "Hallelujah!" the buyer shouted. And the horse stopped at the edge of the vast canyon, with only inches of ground to spare.

Looking up to the sky, the buyer sighed in relief. "Praise the Lord."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/littlekuribandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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My dad's favorite

Me- "man my shoulder hurts" Dad- "does it hurt when you do this?" (Shrugs) Me- "yah" Dad- "well don't do that"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChronicMidge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
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Friend dad joked his wife.

My friend was driving with his wife heading home. They were passing some farms and his wife noticed some people hanging out by the cows. She said "I wonder if they work there" he replies with "yah they're just milking it"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crutaru
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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It was a hot spring day

And I was driving with my dad and my brother, and my brother asked him, "When you go to the store can you get me some flavored water." and my dad replied, "There's already some in the back." So my brother went to the the back of the car and looked and he said, "Dad this is regular water." And my dad replied, " Yah its water flavored water." Cheapskate

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
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Taking a trip?

My dad came into the living room with a suitcase.

Me: hey dad are you taking a trip somewhere?

Dad: yah, taking a trip next fall!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RIPCheeper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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