Why did President Xi Jinping order the caplock keys to be removed from all Chinas computers?

Because he was afraid of Capitalism!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Frindwamp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Aaaaah Xi!!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SevenSounds
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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iPhone Xi everyone..
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dankRatBat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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What did Genghis Kahn's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia?

Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis Should.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pku31
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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Did you hear that they're building a new trampoline park in Beijing?

It's called Xi Jum'ping.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dumbwaeguk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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In China, you can criticize every Roman numeral from I to X.

But you can't criticize XI.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vshesha
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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The most expensive diamond in 2017 sold for $71.2 million USD

to Hong Kong-based jewelry retailer Chu Tai Fook. Over the last few months as the protests in Hong Kong have become heated Mr. Chu has been on the side of the government which has caught the eye of the international gem dealers, causing him to become a bit of a pariah.

The diamond went up for sale his and the Chinese government wanted to ensure that world's most expensive gem got a fair price. Mr. Chu approached Southerby's who was hesitant to get involved in what could be deemed a political gem sale. Despite his protests none of the world's leading auction houses the answer was always the same, they would not do the auction. This is when president Xi Jiping got involved to ensure that some good news could come out of China.

Last week it was reported that Rick Harrison, from Pawn Stars, had approached Xi Jinping saying that he would hold the diamond but couldn't promise more than $500 USD from the sale of the pendant. This infuriated the Chinese president threatened to take down the reality TV star, but Harrison was adamant telling Mr. Pooh, "If Chu wished to pawn the star, makes no difference who you are"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Poortio
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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I'm not Winnie the Pooh!

That's what Xi said.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/abrakadaver
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Who is the Chinese President?

No, Xi is. Hu was his predecessor

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chris88zx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
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"Happiness does not fall out of the blue, and dreams will not come true by themselves."

That's what Xi said.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mortambulist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Did you know China is the most matriarchal society?

Apparently everyone does only what Xi wants.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ariel_Nova
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Unicode has a code point for messages from Athens about a summit between the leaders of France and China.

GREEK CAPITAL LETTER XI WITH MACRON

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dokh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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The next iphone will come out with the President of China's name on it

It's called the iPhone XI

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aparks1437
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Trump met the President of China the other day. Trump disagreed with him on some points, and it wasn't always clear who was right.

It was a clear case of "He said, Xi said."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zeptimius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Dadjoked a Dad annoyed by a crying baby today

He never sausage a bad joke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mmmmbeeer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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