Itβs mail-dominated.
I need a Plan B.
Multi-level marketing
Oh wait don't worry the joke has been postponed
He replies βI know, this sub is full of repostsβ
Itβs the only way I can bring home the bacon.
βQuit STALLIN and start PUTIN things in the truck. Weβre RUSSIAN over here.β
I guess I have no future.
I said thatβs impossible, Labor Day is in September!
(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
It had a hard drive.
Get some taller ones!
They all startled "what happened?" I reply "it's Sharp!"
They murmured something and left the room...
You know, just to make ends meat.
Because it is a sin to co-vet an oxen or donkey.
He's a semi-conductor.
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Neptunes!
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
And then a table... And then a chair...
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
βWow!β I said. βWas it some big corporation?β
βNo.β He replied, βI mowed the lawn in the cemetery.β
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
The same is true for clocks.
(PSA: Remember to correct yours tonight, as applicable.)
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
Since it's 2020.
A semi-conductor
They make up everything.
I was proud.
Me: Wait. I can change.
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
That took a toll!
There's also leap-frogs.
They are key workers
I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but Iβm slowly getting over them!
UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! π€©
Good players are hard to find.
It's a faux pa.
A little bit of Background information:Β When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner.Β Β Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion!Β He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really.Β Β However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business.Β Β Β The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this!Β Β My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.
Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago.Β Β I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency.Β Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.
After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his.Β Β At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed.Β Β Β He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement,Β his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these.Β Β Β I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.
So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there.Β Β Β Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job!Β Β Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month!Β Β At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life.Β You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you"Β I never realized how freeing it
... keep reading on reddit β‘βππ βELON TWEET HYPE, BUT WITH LEGIT LONG TERM DEVS . π βπ
Strap in and get ready to launch.
This was created by a professional dev team of HOGL And BUFFTOWN (Developers of HOGL and Shield) They are dedicating their spare time to launch this as a meme project that will explode. Get in. Weβre going to run this long term for listings on both CMC and Gecko.
Cybertruck Prototype has an ambitious core team of experienced Crypto veterans, all working day and night ( I mean this, we actually forced one to stay up well past his bed time while in the voice channel. ) to make sure we get to the moon fast, and safe.
βοΈ βοΈ βοΈ 4.6MM 24Hour VolumeβοΈβοΈ βοΈ
βοΈ Market Cap as of typing this 2.3MMβοΈ
INCOMING CATALYSTS:
CMC LISTING: Coming soon.
COINGECKO LISTING: Coming Soon
SNL TONIGHT and the CyberTruckPrototype itself being the star of the show in NYC.
This is NOT a P&D. Liquidity is LOCKED, and ownership RENOUNCED.
CONTRACT RENOUNCED:
bscscan /address/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17#readContract
βοΈ Contract:
bscscan /token/0xf340E33aef552C836b4538BA09bBfCcd5f42fa17
βοΈ CHART:
poocoin /tokens/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17
βοΈ Website
Cybertruck . financial
βοΈ Telegram
t me /CyberTruckPrototypeOfficial
βοΈ Twitter
twitter /officialcybert
βοΈ Reddit
r /CyberTruckPrototype
Itβs my jingle bell rock.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
2 girls are chatting, one isn't particularly bright and seems very deep in thought, the other asks what she's thinking about, the not so bright one says she has an issue, "I have had a horse for years and my parents have just bought me a new one which is virtually identical to the first and I'm struggling to work out which one is which." The friend suggested she try cutting the mane short on one horse making it easy to identify. The friend is over the moon and rushes away to try the suggestion. A few weeks pass and the friends meet up, The friend and how she got on with the mane cutting trick. "It was fine for the first couple of weeks but the mane grew back so I'm back to square one." The friend thinks for a while and suggests cutting the hair on the tail short making identification simple. Again the girl rushes off to try the suggestion. A few weeks later they meet again with much the same story, this time the friend suggests measuring the horses height to see if one is taller than the other. A few weeks later they meet up, the not so clever one is ecstatic and proceeds to tell her friend how it went. "It was amazing and I hadn't noticed but the black horse was 2 hands taller than the white one".
I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.
