Wolverine Puns

Just a huge jacked man

Hugh probably know him by Jackman

...and says, "Hygiene".

People called him Santa Claws

He had trouble Logan in

They must be claw straw phobic.

High Jackman

Because of his retractable clause

I just needed hubris.

He gets a huge actman

You know, Huge Ax-man.

He was afraid to come out of the claw-set.

It was Hughnanimous.

Another day, another Dawn.

Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.

to be in the next Wolverine movie.

But it makes sense to me considering she’s already an X-MAN

How does Wolverine sharpen his claws?

X-Files

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

• Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
• It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
• What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
• Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
• Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
• Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
• If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
• Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
• Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
• American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
• The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
• Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
• Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
• Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
• Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
• Rittal me this, Batman!
• Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
• Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
• If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
• When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
• You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
• Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
• Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
• Don't think Seton is

The Amazing Spider-man was directed by a guy named named Webb.

For The Wolverine, they hired a guy named Mangled (Mangold)

And Guardians of the Galaxy was made by guy named Gunn.

So I am expecting them to announce that Kat Dennings will be directing Black Panther any day now.

So last night we were watching the first X-Men. When Wolverine first wakes up in the manor and is trying to escape, the elevator door opens and I say "hey look, he found the X-it.". Groans and eyerollings all around.

So if Hugh Jackman is finished playing wolverine and stops being jacked; is he then a Hughman?