The Quaranteens
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
Does Heaven turn out the lights and pretends nobody's home ?
he was lucky it was a soft drink
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
It’s called the Witch Tower Society.
But as I got closer it flew away
He woke up like 5 minutes later tho
He dyed on impact.
We have to play something other than monopoly next time
Carrie underwood
He’s all right now
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
An iWitness.
To wit: to woo.
The Italians dont like any witnesses
.. but stealing someone’s soap really takes the cake.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts
Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)
Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.
Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics
Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics
Leaky faucet: drip pics
X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics
X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)
X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics
X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics
Legal command: Writ pics
Pictures of twigs: Stick pics
A Christmas Story scene: lick pics
Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics
Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)
Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.
Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
...but I just let him sleep. Didn’t seem right to bother the boy.
He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.
He was really tired.
It was a heavy bird into bear.
Yep, I was an iWitness
An iWitness
Does that make you an iWitness?
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
I said "Are you kidding, I didn't even see the accident." (Props to the Unknown Comic.)
A mirrorcle.
Has anyone seen it? I am looking for some iWitness’s
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
Passenger: Which bus are you?
Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.
I said, “Remains to be seen.”
The witness replied "I don't know, they just ransomware."
Because hips don't lie.
I counted 13 crows flying due south.
I was at the shopping maul.
They flew over my house, it was really cool!
Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
Does that make you a an iWitness
