I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.

We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 443
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn’t planet.

πŸ‘︎ 572
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.

He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theatremom2016
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.

"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
So my name is William

And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?

Me: They call me both.

Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.

I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EatATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?

But β€œShatner Panties” was not a good business.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m terrible with directions but my friend William always knows where to go.

When there’s a Will, there’s a way.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
William is nervous about his life prospects

Will is future tense

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My pal William is a hard worker.

In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When does Serena Williams usually go to sleep?

Tenish.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boobooaboo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, β€œWhat’s your favourite planet?”

Her: It’s Venus.

Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.

A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.

I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthew2112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.

It's my sheer Will power.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rapidwave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.

He just loves to score movies

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend changed his name from William to Lawrence

That’s how a Bill becomes a Law.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...

Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oove22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I want to build a giant Robin Williams inspired house

I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheerfulsith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
William has me wondering if i am or am not.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gboy7373
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.

People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Because of a clerical error at the hospital we named both of our twin boys William.

They billed us twice.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When William joined the army,

He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeJash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I am never going to hire anyone named William.

I hate paying bills!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy named William that doesn’t have any tattoos?

Unmarked Bill

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What Do Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror and Billy the Kid all have in common?

The same middle name.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
William Shatner has discontinued his line i3f women's clothes.

Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar

But they didn't planet

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...

Mrs. Fire!

πŸ‘︎ 366
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 176
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars into a bar...

...But they didn't planet that way.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
William Shakespeare was deciding what pencil to use

2B or not 2B

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Bruno Mars, Venus Williams, and Freddie Mercury walked into a bar...

but they didn't planet that way

πŸ‘︎ 293
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pats5lyfe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.