I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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︎ Dec 10 2020
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
But they didnβt planet.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.
He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."
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︎ Dec 20 2020
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection...
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︎ Nov 08 2020
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
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︎ Apr 19 2019
So my name is William
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?
Me: They call me both.
Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.
I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?
But βShatner Pantiesβ was not a good business.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
Iβm terrible with directions but my friend William always knows where to go.
When thereβs a Will, thereβs a way.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
William is nervous about his life prospects
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︎ Jun 15 2020
My pal William is a hard worker.
In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...
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︎ Jun 24 2020
When does Serena Williams usually go to sleep?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, βWhatβs your favourite planet?β
Her: Itβs Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.
A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the letteringβs all faded.
Iβm not sure whether itβs 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.
It's my sheer Will power.
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 13 2020
My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.
He just loves to score movies
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 26 2020
My friend changed his name from William to Lawrence
Thatβs how a Bill becomes a Law.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...
Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.
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︎ Nov 18 2017
I want to build a giant Robin Williams inspired house
I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.
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︎ Jan 09 2020
William has me wondering if i am or am not.
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︎ Jan 29 2019
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
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︎ Dec 14 2019
Because of a clerical error at the hospital we named both of our twin boys William.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
When William joined the army,
He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
I am never going to hire anyone named William.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 01 2019
What do you call a guy named William that doesnβt have any tattoos?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 17 2019
What Do Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror and Billy the Kid all have in common?
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︎ Jun 28 2019
William Shatner has discontinued his line i3f women's clothes.
Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 30 2019
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar
π︎ 58
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︎ Oct 29 2020
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
π︎ 392
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︎ May 26 2020
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...
π︎ 364
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︎ May 21 2019
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
π︎ 176
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︎ Nov 24 2018
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection!
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 27 2019
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars into a bar...
...But they didn't planet that way.
π︎ 31
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︎ Apr 23 2019
William Shakespeare was deciding what pencil to use
π︎ 76
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︎ Sep 25 2018
Bruno Mars, Venus Williams, and Freddie Mercury walked into a bar...
but they didn't planet that way
π︎ 296
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︎ Nov 13 2016
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