Not much dash in that hound
Credit u/themayanacockandlips on r/aww
Because he was told to get a long little doggie.
charge: driving erotically
That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Defeat
...they will be subma-weiners.
Weiner
Itβs not stroganoff..
All I'm asking is have you seen my weiner? It's about about 18" long and likes to be rubbed... Doesn't bite.
On the other hand, everything is OK
The weiner.
No Franks
EDIT: Wow! Thanks guys! One thousand up-votes is crazy for my first submission on reddit. My dad told me this joke while we were grocery shopping.
Guess they can't accept the fact that I'm always the weiner
He said, "We have 10 weiners!" I corrected him and told him, " No, that's only 8." He paused for a few seconds to build up the suspense and says, " I don't know about you, but i have one!"
He's 8.
Remove the R.
a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs
my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious
I declare you the weiner of the food contest
I hope you dance your buns off
I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date
I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?
"Ready for the halloweeners?" I asked.
"Yup, or as some people call them, the empty hot dogs." He responds.
"Empty hot dogs?"
"Yup! Hollow weiners!" Intense stare for a second, "hawhawhawhaw!"
Serious question. I'm a dad, and I have several long-running jokes with my kids.
E.g., there's a "radiator monster" in the basement. Yeah, that knocking sound when we turn the steam up in the morning. Well, my eldest is getting smarter and smarter, but he still can't refute my claim that there is such a monster. Because he's not yet aware of the actual cause of the knocking/banging.
So, he's unsure!
This is a good Dad-joke, no?
"But your stepmom doesnt want me to walk around with a potato on my weiner"
He dropped this on me 30 minutes ago and i cant stop laughing
So we went to the Wild's preseason game against the Blues last night and there was a blues player who fell down after blocking a shot with his inner thigh. It reminded me of this goal (http://www.reddit.com/tb/2i8prv) I saw on r/hockey yesterday that JvR scored off his weiner, and told my dad about it.
His response: That's nuts! Good thing it wasn't in their own goal, that would've been a dick move.
While driving by a sort of "dog fest" at a nearby park I told my wife how they had "Weiner Dog" races and made note that they didn't call them Dachshund Races.
She just said that she guessed that they would all be "Weiners" anyway.
I gleefully groaned.
Hey, Nizman, for Halloween you should go totally naked but with a potato on your weiner.
What kind of costume is that, Dad?
A dictator.
I came in with grilled steaks, sausage, and hot dogs. I yelled up to my dad that hot dogs were ready and he says "Alright, sounds like a WEINER to me"
Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
Someone told him to get along little doggie.
Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
Somebody told him to get a long little doggy
So he could get along little doggie
