Ima start spelling weed ouiβd cos I canβt say no to it
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︎ Feb 21 2021
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.
He told me he was really high.
π︎ 112
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︎ Jan 31 2021
What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed?
π︎ 30
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I smoke my weed on the toilet
π︎ 11
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker
I guess the steaks were pretty high
π︎ 62
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︎ Feb 03 2021
A farmer noticed some cows smoking weed and playing cards
The steaks were getting pretty high
π︎ 51
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 29 2021
How do you know if a cow takes weed?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Grandpa took my weed so I took his wheelchair!
Ainβt nobody rolling shit around here
π︎ 50
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︎ Dec 07 2020
This helps weed out the weak.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I started drinking weed infused vodka
It keeps me in high spirits
π︎ 54
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Two gambling cows ate some weed.
π︎ 105
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︎ Dec 23 2020
The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.
That would explain the doughnuts.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 13 2021
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
π︎ 23
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why did the hippo want weed for Christmas?
He was a hippo pot a must.
This is so dumb...I apologize now to all of you ha ha ha.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call a catholic leader that does weed?
π︎ 39
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︎ Sep 23 2020
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
π︎ 126
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︎ Jul 18 2020
I used to share weed with my friend
You could call it a trance-plant
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What did the weed say when confronting the piece of paper?
Im gonna be blunt with you,
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 23 2020
My son was just arrested for possession of weed.
I told him to cut the grass not keep it in his pockets.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I was surprised when I caught my son smoking weed upstairs...
I never imagined my house would have a drug attic.
π︎ 158
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︎ Jun 06 2020
The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some weed with her.
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
π︎ 155
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︎ Jun 30 2020
What's your opinion on permitting coastal birds to smoke weed?
As I for one think that we should Seagullize Marijuana
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What happens when two weed companies merge together?
They become a joint venture!
π︎ 23
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Are you smoking weed in this pandemic?
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Yesterday I combined weed with yeast.
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 19 2020
What did the student do after smoking weed ?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 29 2020
"I don't have a single weed in my garden"
They're all married with children.....
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I used to think toking weed and snorting lines of coke made me a cool guy
but it was all just smoke and mirrors.
π︎ 96
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︎ Jun 13 2020
What should you do if you're addicted sea weed?
π︎ 49
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Students can now enroll in weed-growing classes.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 10 2020
I asked a friend to help me weed my herb garden today.
He declined, well, it was probably the wrong thyme.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 11 2020
My wife told me to watch her plants when I sprayed the weed killer.
I've been watching them for an hour now and I don't see what's so interesting about them.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My friend and I are starting a weed farm
π︎ 15
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Someone on weed said I look good.
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 22 2020
My son got mad after I called his weed stupid
I said "Jeez cant you take a toke ?"
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Someone stole my weed...
I'm feeling very dis-jointed.
π︎ 22
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︎ Jun 16 2020
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.
The steaks have never been higher.
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Thinking about opening a hotel for weed smokers.
Iβm gone call it Swisha Suites. Lol!
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 20 2020
What is a mexican fish's favorite weed?
π︎ 7
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︎ May 18 2020
The janitor lady just asked me to smoke some weed with her
I turned her down I don't like high maintenance women
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︎ Nov 16 2019
Grandma took my weed so I took her wheelchair.
Neither of us is rolling.
π︎ 39
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︎ Apr 20 2020
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