Ima start spelling weed oui’d cos I can’t say no to it
πŸ‘︎ 366
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpam-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.

He told me he was really high.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed?

Fries

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boombotser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I smoke my weed on the toilet

I'm high on pot

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spartan2024
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker

I guess the steaks were pretty high

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A farmer noticed some cows smoking weed and playing cards

The steaks were getting pretty high

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ?

Highlander!!! 😊

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you know if a cow takes weed?

The steaks are too high.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eissaphobia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Grandpa took my weed so I took his wheelchair!

Ain’t nobody rolling shit around here

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
This helps weed out the weak.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolaterush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I started drinking weed infused vodka

It keeps me in high spirits

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Two gambling cows ate some weed.

The steaks were high.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.

That would explain the doughnuts.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.

I guess neither of us will be getting high.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hippo want weed for Christmas?

He was a hippo pot a must. This is so dumb...I apologize now to all of you ha ha ha.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a catholic leader that does weed?

A dope pope

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hewbard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to share weed with my friend

You could call it a trance-plant

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the weed say when confronting the piece of paper?

Im gonna be blunt with you,

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kneegears1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was just arrested for possession of weed.

I told him to cut the grass not keep it in his pockets.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyCrossXD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was surprised when I caught my son smoking weed upstairs...

I never imagined my house would have a drug attic.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeeball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some weed with her.

I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Indigo_Samurott
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What's your opinion on permitting coastal birds to smoke weed?

As I for one think that we should Seagullize Marijuana

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cnuttyforehead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when two weed companies merge together?

They become a joint venture!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Are you smoking weed in this pandemic?

Coweed-19

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amankhaan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I combined weed with yeast.

The Pot Thickens..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peanut_Butt3r675
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the student do after smoking weed ?

Higher Studies.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaduteemon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"I don't have a single weed in my garden"

They're all married with children.....

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to think toking weed and snorting lines of coke made me a cool guy

but it was all just smoke and mirrors.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What should you do if you're addicted sea weed?

Sea kelp....

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Students can now enroll in weed-growing classes.

It's a high school.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a friend to help me weed my herb garden today.

He declined, well, it was probably the wrong thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rahastes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to watch her plants when I sprayed the weed killer.

I've been watching them for an hour now and I don't see what's so interesting about them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LetterZee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I are starting a weed farm

It's a joint operation

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thats_awkward_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone on weed said I look good.

It was high praise.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son got mad after I called his weed stupid

I said "Jeez cant you take a toke ?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/datdragonfruittho
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my weed...

I'm feeling very dis-jointed.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Thinking about opening a hotel for weed smokers.

I’m gone call it Swisha Suites. Lol!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MLSlate1324
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a mexican fish's favorite weed?

Si weed

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edgydonut
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The janitor lady just asked me to smoke some weed with her

I turned her down I don't like high maintenance women

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Grandma took my weed so I took her wheelchair.

Neither of us is rolling.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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