What do you call two young married spiders?

Newly webs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Why did the spider just mind it's own business making a web?

To make sure I wasn't being bugged

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Two spiders got married and bought their first home.

I was so happy for the newlywebs.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tymme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Web designer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jetpackguy221
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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I think the best web designers in the world might be

Spiders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nik_5252
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Why are spiders so smart?

They find everything they need to know on the web.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Ever wonder how spider makes a circle-shaped web perfectly?

Because it's sΟ€der we're talking about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obiwankedkenobi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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My wife came screaming at me to take the spider out.

It was great! We went out for a couple of beers. He wants to be a senior web developer someday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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You cannot escape from spiders

They have a World Wide Web!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I have asked my wife to use chrome rather than other web browsers

I just don't like to see her on edge so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommigord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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How do spiders make their web?

They arachknit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stressmove
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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What’s a spider’s preferred job?

Web design

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BADartAgain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Today I saw a snake build a web.

It was a python.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fbiweeb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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He is an excellent web designer v.redd.it/pym796lltby31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itaielidan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I was in a band called Dark Web.

We would always go on tor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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What kind of web developers DO like bugs?

Spiders!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Why do most web developers wear glasses?

Because they can't C:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Have y'all been to the new sausage restaurant yet?

To be quite Frank, it's the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/majestic_walrus1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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It’s all taken care of
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoSnoopDogg
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What job would spiders most likely get into?

Web designing.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Web assistant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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The web
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roegner65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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What is a web developer's favourite tea?

URL Grey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Spider Web:

Instantly turns you into a ninja when you walk into it

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Can I get to the web too?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fashionable-Pie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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What did daddy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Why can't Ganondorf surf the web?

Cause there's too many Links

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Averet101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What do we call a crime scene of a crime done by spiders?

It's their WEB site!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I just caught my son googling porn web sites, and I’m completely heartbroken.

We are strictly a Bing family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Entangled business deal

If a spider catches more moths than they need, can they sell them on the web?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?

It's called Shallot's Web

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Web developer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbaseball54
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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What do spiders do after getting engaged?

Have a webbing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle

Now he works in web development.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riversquid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Why do computers wear glasses?

To improve their web-sight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.

We went out and had beers. Cool guy, very driven, wants to be a web designer.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mer-edith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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In a tangled web.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newguy208
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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If Spiderman suddenly runs out of web when he's chasing bad guys, what is he called?

Peter Parkour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserNumber63
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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It takes time to develop a web browser

Chrome wasn't built in a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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The dark Web should be called Amazon Crime.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeannieinabottle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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On a photo shop battle about a deer with a spider web between its antlers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NearlyHame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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What's a web developer's favourite tea?

URL Grey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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My wife told me to take the spider out

I took him out, and he was a nice guy. Turns out he’s a web designer!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a web developer's favourite tea?

URL Grey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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