I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"

He said "I don't think that's a weakness"

"Well I don't give a f* what you think"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What was Achilles’ weakness?

The man, The myth. The leg end.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Elsa's weakness was that she was shopaholic

It was her A-chilles heel

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheriner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
The 'Trapped in the Closet' saga is my absolute weakness....

I guess you could say.... It's my R. Kelly's heel.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobodys_darling
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2012
🚨︎ report
Puns, my only weakness! nellucnhoj.com/post/83461…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobodi64
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
🚨︎ report
This takes "Puff Puff Pass" to a whole new level! And that's my effort a t a weak pun...
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the weak spot of a janitor?

His janitals

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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This helps weed out the weak.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolaterush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that newborns have weak necks and need to have their heads supported?

Just a heads up.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My teacher gave me some weak paper the other day

It was tearable

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSamHawkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call a weak hurricane?

Hurrican't

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farquaadschin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin got seriously beaten in school. He was really weak, so he started training karate.

Now he is beaten at school and karate.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Felipe_Silva_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.

I said, β€œNo, only for the next couple of hours.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why won’t superman invest in Bitcoin?

Because his weakness is krypto

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nohpetsallowed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a gallon of milk’s weak spot?

The jugular

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgborst
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrresehelp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.

He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Love the new cat band Mewtallica

Especially their hit song, Enter Sandbox.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It went from tri-weekly to try weakly.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my kids that "fortnight" was a stupid name for a video game.

It's too weak.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yakcall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do we base our work around 7 days instead of a fortnight?

Because working for a fortnight would make everyone too weak.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Atleast it made Sophie's day.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bunch of Serengeti herbivores that no longer allowed lions to attack them unless a weak member needed removed?

Good gnus!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Pretty weak connection.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/secretlymas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chordus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

πŸ‘︎ 992
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke for people with weak memory.

Nvm I can't remember but it was too funny!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/14yoNibba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How do your weak passwords feel

Insecure

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaasBeen3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m in great shape except for my pudgy midsection.

It’s my core weakness.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a joke about weak phone signal...

But it would get a bad reception

πŸ‘︎ 332
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the secret to being Santa Claus?

You either have the gift or you don't.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Does anyone remember the joke I posted about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
"This giant carrot made my day but it made my coworker’s hole weak."
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Seven days without a pun makes on weak
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidSidderSiddest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a weak son?

Yakov Dzhugashvili

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josephstalin1944
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDoc, I feel dizzy, I have a headache, and I feel weak.”

Doctor: Flu?

Me: No, I took the bus.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
If you see a pretty woman and your hands start to shake, you become weak in the knees, and you develop a warm feeling in your chest...

Go to bed. You've got the flu.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
7 days without a pun

makes one weak.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmandawgfan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What was Achilles’ weakness?

The man, the myth, the leg end.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I was asked at an interview what my weakness is

I replied "I'm too honest"
The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness"
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laughinboy29
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough

I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The other days are week days.

πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday.

The rest are weak days..

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/festivalheadmmsk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Does seven days without exercise make one weak?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jashbrown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember when I made that joke about the chiropractor?

I told it about a weak back.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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