My best friend is a tightrope walker

The only problem with him is that he's so high strung.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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A local themed Grandad joke from the northeast of England: If you walk to Walker and bike to Byker, what do you do at Wallsend?

You fall off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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The Fast and The Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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I'm a single dad and a fast walker

I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revoltinglemur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Why did the tightrope walker go to the bank?

To check his balance

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluxitup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I added Paul Walker as a friend on X-box...

But he spends all his time on his dashboard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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why did the cannibal eat the tight rope walker first thing in the morning?

it's all part of a balanced breakfast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasismyname_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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A tightrope walker was audited last month.

His balance was off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker.

I used to look up to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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I’ve just started working as a professional dog walker and it’s so easy,

It’s a walk in the park.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dubzeeeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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My friend is a professional sleep walker.

He is living the dream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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What did Christopher Lloyd say after drinking Johnnie Walker?

Great scotch!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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I don’t understand why malls don’t kick out mall walkers

It just seems like loitering with extra steps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmenseDruid721
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I placed my pint down on the table in the pub and one of the waiters walker over to my table.

"Would you like a beer mat?" he asked.

I said, "I prefer cider, pal. And my name isn't Matt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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In his previous career as a tightrope walker, Frankie Avalon learned to be very safety conscious.

He never worked without a net.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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You cant rely on most circus professionals. Except for tightrope walkers...

...they always toe the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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I ate dinner at a retirement home today. After I sat down an older gentleman got up from his seat, slowly walked over to me, parked his walker, looked at me and said "you look new around here, if you ever need anything from me here's my card". [ xpost from r/pics]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Respectful_Lurker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
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My friend is a dog walker

My friend texted me one day and said:

"I was walking the dogs on the trail and I was wondering if anything interesting was going to happen. Then a Girl walked onto the trail with her horse. She was walking her horse in a bra."

To which I messaged back saying: "That is awesome! How did she get the horse in a bra?"

I could feel him groan through the next 10 text messages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axeofdeath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?

He wanted a well-balanced meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?

He wanted a balanced meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylyn_conner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Why did the circus lion eat the tight rope walker?

He needed a balanced meal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaquielleOFeel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?

He wanted a balanced breakfast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeGuyGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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