What happens when you see a dog walking backwards?
On the way to work I saw a man walking his dogs...
At first he took one step and then stopped. Then he took three steps and then stopped. He kept increasing his steps this way along the sidewalk when I thought to myself, “That’s an odd way of walking.”
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
I was out walking the dogs today, and a friend asked me if they were Jack Russells ?
Nah...they're mine, I said.
Two dogs were walking down an empty highway. One of them stopped and defecated in the middle of the road.
When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, “Clean up that mess.”
The other dog sniffed the pile and said, “Nope. That’s your asphalt!”
Two hot dogs are walking down the street
One suddenly turns to the other and says
"Mike! Your wiener is showing!"
While I was walking the dog, our 4 yo was harassing my wife for a treat. She texted “She’s trying to get a popsicle out of me.”
I responded “But you’re not a freezer.”
I could feel the eye roll down the street.
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. “How do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. “I know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. “What do you mean you pissed in his ear??”
‘I went up to him and went “Pssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’
Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"
It certainly looks like you got it half off!!
I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!
A man is walking his dogs and another guy asks “excuse me are they Jack Russels?”
The owner quickly replies, “No, they’re mine!”
I saw a women walking her dog.
A puppy, I thought. I said to her, how old? She said, 11 actually. I said, by God! You look at least 50!
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
I've been walking the dog recently and I've already lost 60lbs!
I can't find the dog anywhere.
I was walking my dog in the park when this young woman came over to me and said, "What a beautiful dog! Is it purebred?"
I told her, "No, it's pure dog."
I was walking my dog this morning when I saw a rock help an old lady cross the street
My daughter said, "I saw a dog walking home from school."
I replied, "Which school does the dog go to?"
My dad and I were walking down the street when we passed a man walking 4 dogs.
He turned to me and said, “Whoa! How blind was that guy?”
My girlfriend and I were walking around on Halloween when we saw a dog dressed as a wizard from harry potter, without missing a beat I leaned over and said:
I wonder if that wizard practices Bark Magic.
Got my wife while walking the dogs.
We were out on a stroll with our dogs when we came up to a railroad crossing:
Me: kneeling down examining the ground
"A train must have come through here..."
Wife:"How can you tell?"
Me:smirking
"It left its tracks right here!"
Wife:continues walking, leaving me behind
Edit:Grammar, guh...
How did the person who just went around the world and the person walking the dog greet each other?
Did you hear about the dog walking service for Christians?
It was called Canine Able.
This joke came to me walking the dog near a pond... What do you call 2 contradictory waterfowl?
A pairaducks.
HA ha hee! ;)
A man sees a stranger grudgingly walking a dog.
The man asks, “What kind of dog is that, a setter or a pointer?” He replies, “Neither. He’s an upsetter and a disappointer.”
I started walking my dog everyday...
she has a new leash on life.
Walking with my friend and her two dogs when they both decide to poop.
She said "I guess they're pooping in solidarity," to which I replied "better that then liquidarity."
Was walking the dog this morning.
I figured out that our heeler is part alien, because he leaves crap circles instead of crop circles.
(he gets so excited on walks that he doesn't "squat still", instead going in a circle)
Comes in from walking the dog...
Mom, addressing the dog: "Did you poop?"
Dad: "He didn't but I dropped one."
Was walking my dogs the other day and some man asked me, “are those Jack Russells?”
I said, “No, they’re mine”
I was out walking the dogs this morning and someone asked me if they were jack Russels
And I said “No they’re mine”
Was out walking the dogs and someone asked me if they were Jack Russels
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