Walking the Dog Puns

At first he took one step and then stopped. Then he took three steps and then stopped. He kept increasing his steps this way along the sidewalk when I thought to myself, “That’s an odd way of walking.”

A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time

Deja poo.

Nah...they're mine, I said.

When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, “Clean up that mess.”

The other dog sniffed the pile and said, “Nope. That’s your asphalt!”

I responded “But you’re not a freezer.”

I could feel the eye roll down the street.

One suddenly turns to the other and says

"Mike! Your wiener is showing!"

‘I went up to him and went “Pssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’

It certainly looks like you got it half off!!

I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!

"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"

I can't find the dog anywhere.

I told her, "No, it's pure dog."

What a gneiss guy

He turned to me and said, “Whoa! How blind was that guy?”

We were out on a stroll with our dogs when we came up to a railroad crossing:

Me: kneeling down examining the ground "A train must have come through here..."

Wife:"How can you tell?"

Me:smirking "It left its tracks right here!"

Wife:continues walking, leaving me behind

Edit:Grammar, guh...

“Yo.” “Yo.”

It was called Canine Able.

A pairaducks.

HA ha hee! ;)

I figured out that our heeler is part alien, because he leaves crap circles instead of crop circles.

(he gets so excited on walks that he doesn't "squat still", instead going in a circle)

Mom, addressing the dog: "Did you poop?" Dad: "He didn't but I dropped one."

I said, “No, they’re mine”

And I said “No they’re mine”

Nah, they're mine.