Who called it Vagina and not Cockpit?
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📅︎ Nov 02 2020
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What do guns, vaginas, hospitals, and war crimes have in common?

discharge.

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📅︎ Jul 09 2020
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What do you get when cross a gun with a vagina?

A re-vulva

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📅︎ Mar 13 2020
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Some context: so some guy thought that a close up picture of a fig was the inside of a vagina and then some dude told him that and this guy on Reddit made a nice little pun
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📅︎ Apr 06 2019
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What do you call a vagina wearing timberland?

Puss in boots.

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👤︎ u/Mistah-S
📅︎ Jun 05 2019
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Vagina jokes are not funny.

Period.

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👤︎ u/fatandsalt
📅︎ Aug 30 2018
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Dad Definition: "Vagina"

"The box a penis comes in."

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👤︎ u/Rocknocker
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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In the UK "tuppence" refers to a small amount of money and is shorthand for a woman's vagina. In the US Trump-Pence involves a lot of money and describes a pair of penises.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tuppence

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/14/politics/donald-trump-vice-presidential-choice/

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📅︎ Jul 15 2016
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I want a flag with a penis on one side and a vagina on the other

It will be my sexual double standard.

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📅︎ Jun 22 2014
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Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders?

All the others are non-binary

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👤︎ u/cheble003
📅︎ Jan 24 2021
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My son called me a simp, after I googled what it meant, I said

then you're a simpson.

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📅︎ Feb 28 2020
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNQRSTUVWXYZ

If you came here looking for an OP, you got it.

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👤︎ u/timmyb55
📅︎ Dec 05 2019
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Whats pink and slippery

Pink slippers

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📅︎ Sep 04 2020
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My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name...

I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize! Why would anyone pick on you?!"

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📅︎ Jan 07 2018
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I appreciate the title.
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📅︎ Feb 09 2019
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I told my dad GoPro was coming out with a cheap less advanced camera so we could afford it...

his reply: what are they calling it, go amateur?

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📅︎ Oct 03 2014
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What Do You Call A Waffle On A Sandy Beach?

A Sandy Eggo.

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📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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Period drama

What if money came out of our vaginas when we were on our periods?

We’d be bloody rich

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📅︎ Apr 03 2018
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Got dad-joked in my graduate Histology class.

The professor was discussing anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck.

"The esophagus is about 10-11 inches long. If it were 12 we'd call it a foot."

Then he went off on a tangent about his friend in college who could stick a hot dog all the way down his throat. School is weird.

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📅︎ Oct 22 2014
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My best puns!
  1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  2. You have to rush Limbaugh!

3.My noodle soup doesn't taste that good. It really laksa certain quality.

4.I know its cheesy, but I feel grate!

  1. can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

6.How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

7.What was Forrest Gump's email password? "1forrest1"

8.I CAN because I'm a CANadian!

9.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

10.Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

11.Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

12.There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...

AND MY FAVOURITE! 13.I was at the scene of a crime, it took place at a cartoonists house, we couldnt find work though, it was sketchy.

IM STILL WORKING ON #12 Post your favourite/own pun in the comments, this will now be... Puntastic! Also OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS! THEY HAVE LAYERS! Chow!

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📅︎ Aug 22 2015
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Sister in law is gonna be a great dad.

I was showing my wife and sister in law this video of a girl that had painted pants on and walked through NY. At the end it showed a close up of the front and you couldn't even tell it was a bare vagina, it just looked like jeans. My wife shakes her head and says "That's nuts!" And without skipping a beat my SIS says "no, I'm pretty sure that's a vagina".

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👤︎ u/Saywh4t
📅︎ Nov 18 2014
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So me and my girlfriend were at the hospital for pelvic/ appendix pains

Her mom and I were in the examination room when the doctor had her get out of her pants and change into a gown and examined her lower area and said. "Wow you've got a perfect vagina" I couldn't help but say... "Well it's definitely not in her jeans" Her and her mom both looked at me in amazement. Totally worth it.

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📅︎ May 15 2015
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Radio DJ has dirty dad joke.

Our morning show DJ's were doing a story about a woman who seduced a man and tried to kill him with a gun she had concealed in her vagina.

DJ - "She was concealing a re-VULVA. Thank you, good night."

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👤︎ u/panken
📅︎ Jan 10 2014
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So I was talking with the wife about gynecological exams

And she was saying that a lot of medical experts don't recommend digital vagina exams anymore. So I asked if they're saying the same thing with prostate exams too. When she said "no," I responded with "So they're still rectum-ending it?"

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👤︎ u/PKMKII
📅︎ Feb 13 2015
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Ole Mother Hubbard

I was laying in bed with my lady, teasing her some and she says
'No I don't like that'
"I was just playing with you"
'That's not the kind of playing I want right now'
"Well that drawer next to you (with all our sex toys ect.) is still closed"
'No I don' want to do any of that tonight'
"Just some good old fashioned penis and vagina old mother hubbard sex?"
'yes'
"well at least you're giving the dog a bone"
facepalms and sighs ensued ;)

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👤︎ u/slm_87
📅︎ Oct 06 2014
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Who called it Vagina and not "Cockpit"?
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👤︎ u/Natsu203
📅︎ May 10 2020
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