A stiff upper lipโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Toe-knail
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 09 2021
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Whoever thought it was a good idea to make a lower case L and and upper case i look the same must have been Ill.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/houseofleaves_12
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 09 2021
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Using my telescope, I could barely make out the British coin worth one fourth of a penny after I launched it into the upper atmosphere...

It was a far-thing!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12 2021
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We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.

Nobody else finds this humerus.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bearnakedrabies
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 07 2020
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My Doctor told me that I may have a curvature of my upper back but he was not so sure.

It wax just a hunch.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cumsock17
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 12 2020
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I broke my upper arm falling down the stairs.

It's quite humerus if you think about it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Travisv36
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20 2020
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Sherlock Holmes: My dear Watson, you have a mole on your right upper thigh. /r/Jokes/comments/fu4m13/โ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kookykau
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 03 2020
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Me: I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box.

Wife: Why...?

Me: It's going to be my secret stash

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BinaryPeach
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 16 2020
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I've had a lispth my entire life. Plusth I can't remember the name of the upper musthcle of the leg.

Thigh...

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 09 2020
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The date for my upper arm surgery is sooner than I anticipated...

I guess that's a wait off my shoulders

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Coolface2k
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29 2020
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The most sophisticated bread is always the upper crust.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iknowthisischeesy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2019
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There was a typeface company that successfully designed upper-case numbers, they were called Capital One.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/techtornado
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17 2019
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My daughters asked me when we were going to the upper level of the mall.

I told them we had choices. We could esca-now, or escalator.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Quibblicous
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 14 2019
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When you reprimand upper case letters . . .

Itโ€™s capital punishment

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/boogerknows
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2019
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My friend told me his upper shin hurt

I told him to stop faking because that's below knee

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Thesaurususaurus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 24 2019
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Harley has the upper hand
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 149
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lord_voldything
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 14 2017
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So the Atlantic and Pacific oceans were arm wrestling. At first the Pacific was winning, but then the Atlantic started to gain the upper hand.

You could say the tides have turned.

Ill be here all night folks.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ShedATyr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 04 2018
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Why don't Russians use upper case letters?

They don't prefer capitalism

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheWormaster
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17 2019
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Why does Death always keep a stiff upper lip?

Because he has to Grim and bear it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CadenceQuandry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29 2019
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I saw them remove the upper deck from a baseball park the other day...

Poor thing shed a tier.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/grildcheese
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 05 2019
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I went to the Upper Midwest and I could not find a place to buy a large soft drink.

I was in mini soda.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ridley_Himself
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 10 2018
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I really wanted to impress my wife's upper class parents.

So I brought TWO boxes of wine.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/fukhed69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 26 2018
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I know a joke about the bone in the upper arm

Its humerus

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/walrus_annefrank12
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 22 2018
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One of the upper managers said "I do a lot of work in spreadsheets"

I responded "Would you say you excel at it?"

The collective groan of everyone else during the training session made it all worth it

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dewhashish
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 06 2014
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What mini Ryu shouts when he upper punches people?

"Shrunken"

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sinebiryan
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 04 2016
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Here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula we have a program for recovering Canadians.

It's called Eh Eh.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DirtyWookieScalp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16 2017
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Why do crocodiles never become swamp upper management?

They aren't good dalligators!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JoshWithaQ
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 28 2017
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At a wedding last night and I heard the "upper hand" dad joke.

Omg it was so amazing. The dad was like "my new daughter take your hands and place them face up. my son, my friend my boy, take your hands and place them face down. Now look into each others eyes and take in this moment, as it the last time....... that you will have the upper hand."

I started screaming immediately I loved it so much. Everyone at our table went gung ho for it we were dying. Groans and sighs were heard but I was screaming. SO DAMN GOOD

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AlphaKiloAlpha
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 19 2016
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My wife and I bought a fixer-upper

Our first day in it, I was unpacking boxes downstairs, when water started to drip from the ceiling. I went upstairs and found that my wife had showered, only to realize afterward that the shower lacked any kind of sealant between the tiles. Sensing my frustration with the shoddy workmanship, my wife replied, "You're just going to have to give it the benefit of the grout."

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/YoureAMuenster
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14 2017
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So, I brought a fix er upper to my dad's house

I asked him how fast he thought he could get it, and he looked at it, nodded, and said "I think it can go 0 to 60 in about a trip."

it honestly took me a second to understand it...

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Wild_Harvest
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2014
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