Why did they build the university on a mountain?
It was a place of higher learning.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
I was going to join the debating team at University...
But I was talked out of it.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
What would Hitler be called if he graduated from an Ivy League university?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Why did the marsupial go to university?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
I went to University to study to be a doctor.
Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
When I went to university in the early 80's I decided to do my thesis on procrastination.
I guess I should really get around to starting it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you wonβt be headed to the ICU.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
What did the bull say to his son leaving for university?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
If M&M's go to university....
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.
I told him beggars canβt be Hoosiers.
π︎ 285
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.
I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
Why do circles spend so long at university?
It's not easy getting 360 degrees!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Columbia University Marching Band shuts itself down.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
I got a 3.9 GPA at Trump University
in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed
because it didnt hold water
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
I finished my first year of university, but I gained 34 lbs...
First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to meβ¦
Dear Dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied backβ¦
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
π︎ 356
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Why do my university lecture theatres have all this blank artwork on the walls?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Itβs textbook Economics.
π︎ 129
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
I went to a university where I studied theology.
God knows why I would make a choice like that...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
Went to university in France, but slipped during winter.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
Found this on a wall while Joaquin through an abandoned art building at my University.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 08 2019
At University I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill..
Those were the darkest days of my life.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Apr 25 2019
Did you know that Townsend University used to be called "999 University"?
They decided to round up to a Towsend.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 29 2019
How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?
At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
Why couldn't Aquaman get into the best university in Atlantis?
He was a C student at best.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
I took a Pyrotechnics course in University.
I got a third degree. It was a real blast too.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 22 2018
I graduated from ballet university
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
What do you call it when a cannibal gives a presentation at a university?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 04 2019
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
Which King of England took a gap year before university?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
Amazing dad joke at university orientation
I'm running a booth at an orientation fair at a major university in the south. New out of state student and his dad come up and introduce themselves.
Me: "So, how did you end up in the south?"
Dad: "We drove."
Me: "No, I mean what brought you down here?"
Straight-faced dad: "The car."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jul 18 2014
The slogan of my university's aero-modelling club is: "The wright way to get high".
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 23 2018
And then there's the story of the Jewish man at a South Korean university
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
My University caught fire during finals week
That's how I got my first degree... burns
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 21 2019
My surf buddy got accepted to Columbia University to study Journalism
Heβs very passionate about current events.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 21 2019
My university was so poor,
in math we could not afford real numbers, so we had to use imaginary numbers.
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 05 2017
Fred is a hippo who went to University where everyone is a hippo
One day, someone asked him where the medical building was, Fred replied, "it's over there and to the left. I do research on the brain in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 21 2018
What did the dog achieve at university?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 08 2018
My son asked me if he should go to university and get a degree
I told him he should go to a corner so he can get 90 degrees instead!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
At the university, I learned various methods for extracting honey.
I have a Bee Tech degree.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 21 2019
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to meβ¦
Dear dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied backβ¦
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
dad
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 07 2017
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to meβ¦
Dear dad,
University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie
I immediately replied backβ¦
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, dad
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.
Itβs textbook economics.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
