Why did they build the university on a mountain?

It was a place of higher learning.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team at University...

But I was talked out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What would Hitler be called if he graduated from an Ivy League university?

A nein out of Penn

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxSaint_JimmyxX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the marsupial go to university?

To get a koalafication

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickyburrito
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to University to study to be a doctor.

Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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When I went to university in the early 80's I decided to do my thesis on procrastination.

I guess I should really get around to starting it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkei1ca
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter

I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itmightbedave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bull say to his son leaving for university?

β€œBison”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Eegee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If M&M's go to university....

Do they become Smarties.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.

I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.

I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdmpersson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Why do circles spend so long at university?

It's not easy getting 360 degrees!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Columbia University Marching Band shuts itself down.

Yes, they Dis-Banded.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewArborist64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a 3.9 GPA at Trump University

in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wxmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed

because it didnt hold water

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amigodojaspion
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I finished my first year of university, but I gained 34 lbs...

First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1stdayof
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear Dad,

University i$ really great.

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie.

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

πŸ‘︎ 356
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do my university lecture theatres have all this blank artwork on the walls?

Link.

It's baffling.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktisis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a university where I studied theology.

God knows why I would make a choice like that...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to university in France, but slipped during winter.

Sore bone

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Found this on a wall while Joaquin through an abandoned art building at my University.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coreyisthename
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
At University I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill..

Those were the darkest days of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Townsend University used to be called "999 University"?

They decided to round up to a Towsend.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angelo_Morana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?

At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Aquaman get into the best university in Atlantis?

He was a C student at best.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickerdoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I took a Pyrotechnics course in University.

I got a third degree. It was a real blast too.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I graduated from ballet university

I got 2:2

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a cannibal gives a presentation at a university?

A hannibal lecture.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahxiac
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.

"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.

"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which King of England took a gap year before university?

Richard Deferred.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtcarr79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Amazing dad joke at university orientation

I'm running a booth at an orientation fair at a major university in the south. New out of state student and his dad come up and introduce themselves.

Me: "So, how did you end up in the south?"

Dad: "We drove."

Me: "No, I mean what brought you down here?"

Straight-faced dad: "The car."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maciej88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2014
🚨︎ report
The slogan of my university's aero-modelling club is: "The wright way to get high".
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nietzschemaanav
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
And then there's the story of the Jewish man at a South Korean university

He was the Chosun One

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My University caught fire during finals week

That's how I got my first degree... burns

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qwertysdo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My surf buddy got accepted to Columbia University to study Journalism

He’s very passionate about current events.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jiggyjigster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My university was so poor,

in math we could not afford real numbers, so we had to use imaginary numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nozendk
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Fred is a hippo who went to University where everyone is a hippo

One day, someone asked him where the medical building was, Fred replied, "it's over there and to the left. I do research on the brain in there."

Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ciepme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the dog achieve at university?

A pedegree.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhodiumTheGreat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My son asked me if he should go to university and get a degree

I told him he should go to a corner so he can get 90 degrees instead!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swordmakerz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
At the university, I learned various methods for extracting honey.

I have a Bee Tech degree.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear dad,

University i$ really great.

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie.

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,

dad

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
🚨︎ report
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear dad,

University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, dad

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.

It’s textbook economics.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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