Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.

Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/praisethelort
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.

More on this story, as it unfolds.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: scientists have discovered what might be the world's largest bedsheet. More on that as it unfolds.
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robot-Downey-Jr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about paper ?

Never mind it's tearable

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got my entire class.

We had started reading Hamlet today and before the very first line, "who's there?", I said "knock, knock". Everyone groaned. It was great, I couldn't stop laughing and had to leave.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyclops_is_Right
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.

I think he’s milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
"Did you just stand there watching me fall and drop all the laundry?"

"Yes, I watched it all unfold"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
"Did you see when i fell and dropped all the laundry?"

"Yes, i watched it all unfold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Satan_Zlk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Because of this sub...

I now carry a scrap of paper in my back pocket that has the word "Otherwise" written on it.

Last night my mom was telling me how well my daughter did in the nursery at church, i pulled the paper out and firmly stated "This says Otherwise."

She took out her glasses, carefully unfolded it, then started laughing while handing it to my dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverStryfe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
🚨︎ report
History is good

U know the Chinese were the first to make a folding book

I guess the didn’t know how the future would unfold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alteriakaen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night

Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motleyblondie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Samsung delays the release of their new tablet/phone collab...

Guess the plan just didn't unfold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZestyBiscotti
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife had the best dad joke of the year.

Obligatory formatting from cell phone sorry.

Series of events that unfolded.

Laying in bed with wife she rips the tag off her pillows and says

Wife: I’ve been meaning to do this β€œbye-bye”

Me: geez Nancy pelosi

Wife : points at pillow it’s pillowsi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skat_o_Mancer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Artie the Contract Killer (long)

A man was very unhappily married and tired of being in debt. So he figured out a way to resolve both of his problems with ease. He started by taking out a life insurance policy on his wife, naming himself as the sole beneficiary. Then, he spoke to a friend, who had a friend, who knew a guy who made people "disappear". He met with the gentleman, Artie, and they set up the plot to murder his wife. Artie said it would only be $5,000, but he wanted it upfront. The man, not having much money, opened his wallet and showed Artie the lone one dollar bill. Reluctantly, Artie took the dollar as a down payment. A few days later, Artie followed the wife into a grocery store, and back to the deli section. There was no one else around, so Artie took the opportunity to strangle her to death. Just as he was laying her body down, the manager walked out to witness this scene. Not wanting to leave any witnesses, Artie murdered the manager as well. Unbeknownst to Artie, the store's security witnessed all of this unfold from the hidden cameras around the store. By the time the manager was dead, the police had arrived and arrested Artie. The following day, the front page of the local newspaper read, "Artie Chokes Two For One Dollar at Your Hometown Grocery Store!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marriedwithkids96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm learning quickly.

Co-workers were talking about going to a beer tasting this weekend. Here is how the conversation unfolded.

Coworker 1: They are show casing pale ales this time.

Coworker 2: When is their ales and stouts tasting?

CW1: Oh it was last weekend.

CW2: Damn, a stout sounds so good right now.

Me: Man, sounds like you really miss-stout.

Deafening silence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad would have been proud

I took my two kids (4 and 6) to the new aquarium in our city. They have a petting tank with harmless bamboo sharks. I reach in to the tank. 4 year old: "Is it dangerous?" Me: "Yep" and get a good look of slight fear from him. I then pull my hand out with my ring finger bent over and show it to him. He responds with a look of abject horror. 6 year old: "Stop messing with us!" Unfold my finger and show them. My 4 year old was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitty2228
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Dancing in my future

Kid has a facial tissue folded like one of those "chance" games with panels, pick a number, pick a panel, unfold for fortune, kind of thing.

Kid: I can use this tissue to tell your future!

Me: really? Does it say my future involves dancing? (puzzled look in response) Me: I figured since it was a tissue, it has a boogie in it.

I laughed, then had to explain the 70s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
"So you stood there and watched while I dropped all of the laundry?"

"Yep, I watched it all unfold."

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she’d just ironed.

It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 292
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I just watched my wife trip and drop the pile of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just tripped and fell while carrying a bunch of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report

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