The Antarctic presidential election is underway...

...everyone is headed to the poles.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/mulimulix
📅︎ Sep 25 2013
🚨︎ report
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/kachow--
📅︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
[gun goes off]

[gun goes off]
[every runner falls over and pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race]
ANNOUNCER: Annnd the annual Dad 5k is underway...

^^^^^^source

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/H_G_Bells
📅︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Belated Holiday Dadjoke

An international chess tournament was taking place at a hotel in New York. Grandmasters from all around the world came to compete. As things were getting underway, everyone gathered in the hotel's lobby to socialize and brag about their skills. All of a sudden, the hotel manager bursts out and orders everyone to leave. The players ask why, and he responds:

"I don't like chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/zora894
📅︎ Dec 27 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.