When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
She's a countess.
The other 99 read balloons.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.
Itβs spends all day doing tik toks.
Thatβs a wurst kase scenario
I really wish he would stop laughing at me expense.
This comes as little surprise however, as Icelandβs BjΓΆrk has always been worse than their byte.
An Incommunicado
Eh?!
5, but Jack should probably go see an urologist.
I was watching curious George with the family last night and he was counting stars, 10 stars and 10 rows 100!
Teenage daughter: 11 x 11=122 12 x 12 =144
Me: that's gross
Everyone else in the room: no reaction, nothing, not even a look. I had to explain what was probably my best dad joke ever. FML
I'd say it's got it's crows and caws.
But then I remember I have to stop being so self-deprecating
I know because I keep a log.
Because we need to be 18 to enter
It's a macawpalypse!
The other one is.
...The number of the Feast
I keep having to yell at her to clean up her womb.
I said "Good year!" He replied asking "Really?" I told him "Well, out of all the years during the 1600s, that was the 1!"
https://i.imgur.com/xcCcI.jpg
Context: my SO is a cop
We r eating lunch and talking about his his night a work was and what happened. Then he stops and gasps! Me: what? Him: did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? Me: no, why? Him: they each got six months
He was so pleased with himself! Dad joking pro in the making
