Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
π︎ 54
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't. It got run over.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?
Because he had a hard drive
π︎ 65
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.
π︎ 83
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Donβt blame others for the road that youβre on
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 30
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︎ Dec 30 2020
When the road is a bit rocky...
π︎ 32
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Road trip - why did the Dad tell the kids to take out their pencil and pad?
The sign said Draw bridge.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Now that Iβm officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say βI bet he donβt have the guts to do that againβ
Edit: holy shit yβall this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.
I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Why did the undefined cross the road?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why did the preschooler cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 12 2021
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. βHey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?β
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isnβt divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke sheβs told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
π︎ 679
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Never blame someone else for the road you are on
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 03 2021
SpaceX's rocket was designed to be as wide as it could be and still be transported on the roads.
So when the boss wanted to make it larger, they had to elongate it.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was poultry in motion.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
This guy was driving on the left side of the road
He just didn't choose the right thing
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand store.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasnβt born yet.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
π︎ 114
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
π︎ 231
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Whar did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
I don't know, I couldn't hear him.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I told my daughter when she was whining to me about her new boyfriend... βDonβt complain about the road youβre on right nowβ
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the auto repair shop to get his pick up cluck.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Donβt blame others for the road youβre on...
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
π︎ 119
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 123
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 81
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Donβt blame others for the road youβre on.
Thatβs your own asphalt.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put the wrong socks on this morning
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
You canβt blame anyone for the road youβre on.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
A chicken crossing the road...
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Why did the sperm cross the road today?
Because I wore the wrong Socks on...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
π︎ 188
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack
(Courtesy of my son!)
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
π︎ 583
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
Dont blame other for the road you're on.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
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