Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drlawrie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't. It got run over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anormalusername56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?

Because he had a hard drive

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Don’t blame others for the road that you’re on

That’s your own asphalt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spwf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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When the road is a bit rocky...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_Jockstrap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Road trip - why did the Dad tell the kids to take out their pencil and pad?

The sign said Draw bridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peacetoall1969
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.

I turn to her and say β€œI bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”

Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Why did the undefined cross the road?

[object Object]

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakens6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Why did the preschooler cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. β€œHey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”

Because the chicken had the day off.

Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.

Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EagleTG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Never blame someone else for the road you are on

It’s your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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SpaceX's rocket was designed to be as wide as it could be and still be transported on the roads.

So when the boss wanted to make it larger, they had to elongate it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/15_Redstones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was poultry in motion.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ndbreakfastfan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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This guy was driving on the left side of the road

He just didn't choose the right thing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youse_tobail32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand store.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timsonater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit

A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

different

πŸ‘︎ 231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamerx1353
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Whar did the chicken say when he crossed the road?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkateBoardEddie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I told my daughter when she was whining to me about her new boyfriend... β€˜Don’t complain about the road you’re on right now’

That’s your own asphalt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...

How dairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oz_caution
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the auto repair shop to get his pick up cluck.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClearProgram
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?

It wears flip FLOPS!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditSinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vancity1985
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t blame others for the road you’re on...

That’s your own asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itiswhatitiskid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ripmylasagna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't blame others for the road you're on.

That's your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't blame others for the road you're on.

It's your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t blame others for the road you’re on.

That’s your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicomagnifico
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on this morning

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyZ92
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
You can’t blame anyone for the road you’re on.

It’s your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decrepit-heart
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A chicken crossing the road...

is poultry in motion.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't blame others for the road you're on.

It's your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzusmaximus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???

It was stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daymondotcom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see the chicken strip

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EHDAwesomeness
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road today?

Because I wore the wrong Socks on...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waizun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.

That's your own Asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daashaina
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in the crack

(Courtesy of my son!)

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

Different

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_Buu22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Dont blame other for the road you're on.

That's your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nishireko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It was stuck in a crack

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ask the chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontOOFmeplz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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