How did the polar bear catch a penguin?

Because it was bipolar...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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The Gentoo penguin can swim up to 22mph

If you think that's impressive you should see the Gen 3

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaydezi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?

Lost.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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A bloke runs in to a bar and says. Quick how tall are penguins? The barman says about three feet. The man groans and says :--

I have just run over a NUN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Why was the penguin popular

Cuz was an ice guy

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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What do you call the children of the first penguins?

Gentwo penguins

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What does the penguin waiter says?

Waddle'll it be?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why was the penguin's bail reduced?

He's not a flight risk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Did you hear about the penguin that couldn't order a beer sampler?

He was a flightless bird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badasscdub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Why was the penguin late to his own wedding?

He had cold feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?

Half an hour, same as the zebras.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Heard of the extinct species that used to cohabit with penguins?

They were called pencilguins but were tragically erased.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lela_chan
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Who is the penguins favourite aunt?

Aunt Arctica

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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So a penguin, a priest and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says:

What is this, some sort of a joke?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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A truck driver with a live load of penguins in the back crashes and injures himself

A bystander helps him and calls the ambulance for him, The transport driver tells the man to take the penguins to the zoo then man says okay. Later when the truck driver was released from the hospital he sees the man walking out of the movie theatre with a line of penguins behind him, he asked what the hell hes doing and the man said, well you told me to take them to the zoo, i did, then i took them to the mall and now the movies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Who is the penguin’s favorite relative?

Antarctica.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctaj5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Why was the penguin socially awkward?

He couldn’t break the ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-AKindStranger-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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Why did the penguin leave his bride at the altar?

He got cold feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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When confronted by other birds about his inability to fly, the penguin was unflappable
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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What did the ocean say to the penguin?

Nothing. It just waved

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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The penguin couple got into another fight

They really are on thin ice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8greengorilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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What do you call the emperor penguin?

Julius Freezer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpontaneousMole
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Who is the Penguin's favorite Aunt?

Aunt Arctica

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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They're releasing a sequel to the popular documentary 'March of the Penguins'.

It's going to be called 'April of the Penguins'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/levymealone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
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How does the penguin build his home?

Igloos it together.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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South America has the perfect weather for penguins.

It's nice and Chile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trout_Tickler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2015
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Why didn't the penguin and the polar bear get along?

Because they were polar opposites!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mayormcturtle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
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Pittsburgh Penguins player Phil Kessel dadjoked the media. (x-post /r/hockey)

https://twitter.com/penguins/status/643509078795395072

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sumofparticles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
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What is the name of the Emperor Penguin?

Julius Freezer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Oc-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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