I've always been a heavy sleeper.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I told him “You can’t be Sirius”
This morning, a local radio station had trivia going on, in which the first correct caller would win a free dozen donuts at a local store.
Radio DJ: 20% of Americans have one of these in their home, and despite not working, have no plans of fixing them. First caller, you're up!
Dad: (without hesitation) Hello, I have the answer, I'm ready for the donuts!
Radio DJ: (laughs) What is the answer?
Dad: Teenagers!
Radio DJ: Next caller, you're up!
NP Arrrrrrrrr
I want to hear more about the big storm system in the area but they keep asking for updates from a "meaty urologist."
Radio Jockey Randy : Okay caller, here is the final question for $5,000 cash.
Contestant : I’m ready, Randy!
Radio Jockey Randy : Name three automobiles that start with ‘P’.
Contestant : Uh ... Porsche, Pontiac and Plymouth!
Radio Jockey Randy : Oh, I’m sorry contestant, those all start with GAS!
We were driving down the road to a friend's house and the song "What's My Name" by Rihanna came on.
As soon as it started, I changed the station and the kids quickly began to complain, so I said...
"If she hasn't already learned her name by now, there's no point in listening to it."
My wife laughed as the kids just started at me with a confused expression.
My best one to date.
They are mostly a captive audience.
I was driving to school this morning at around 6:00 am, and I hear on the local radio station (Connie & Curtis on 95.7 in the GR area) and they started talking about /r/dadjokes. I thought that was pretty cool that this sub was recognized!
The winner of this contest would receive a brand new Porsche, so a man got down to it and came up with the 10 best puns he could. He submitted the first, the second, and so on till he had entered them all in the contest. Alas none of his puns won the competition, no pun in ten did.
So in Canberra people are picking their own mushrooms; which would be fine except for the rather hazardous Death Caps that seem to be plentiful right now. A local radio station asked their listeners whether hey thought mushroom sales at stores or restaurants would go down, and what people thought of the whole issue. With a decade of experience in hospitality I thought I'd call and while waiting to go on air, the presenters joked about calling up the head 'mushroom guy' for Australia and asking their opinion.
I go on air and assure them that no restaurant worth their salt would risk their name and business by buying mushrooms that weren't from an official farm. But just before They bid me farewell I said; "I hope you do get to talk to the head mushroom person, I bet he's a real Fungi".
There was silence followed by barely audible raucous laughter from what sounded like either outside their booth or over the intercom, I'm not sure. The presenters denied me an on air groan or laugh and just pretended like I had said nothing. But someone laughed... Someone...
[Edit: Wow, unable to log in to reddit for a day and I miss getting nearly eight times more up votes than I have since joining Reddit last year. Thanks all! I knew having a 1 yr old would pay off.]
While driving in the car listening to 60's - 70's rock radio station
Led Zeppelin, ACDC, Foghat etc. would come on and my Dad would immediately start singing. Somewhere down the line he blatantly screws up the lyrics loud enough for all of us to hear and would say...
Smacking the drivers wheel "Damn, I really hate when the radio stations mess up the lyrics like that"
Driving with Dad listening to some pop music station. Meghan Trainor comes on the radio.
Dad: "Hey did you know that Muslims love Meghan Trainor?"
Me: How do you know that?
Dad: "I just heard they're Allah bout that bass."
Listening to the Notre Dame football game on XM; turns out it was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
I said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
The the kitchen I work in, two of the cooks normally have the local Latino top 40 station on the radio. Last night, a bachata song was playing on the radio, when one of my coworkers asked one of the cooks, Omar, about it. I noticed he had a huge grin on his face. I knew something was up.
Coworker: "Hey Omar, what is this stuff on the radio?"
Omar: "It's bachata, te gustas? [do you like it?]"
Coworker: "Oh yeah guey, I love horchata."
Omar then gives my coworker the much needed groan, while I laugh my ass off.
Listening to Triple J (Australian music radio station) and witnessed this dad joke (probably not the exact words):
When you wear bacon thongs, you get rashers.
We have the old-rock radio station playing in our office and I was mockingly humming along to the tunes of one of the songs.
Then my supervisor says, "Oh I know you are not making fun of Def Leppard."
"It's not like they would be able to hear me if I was." I replied.
No one laughed, but the manager walked out of his office to say, "Come on guys, you have to admit that one was good."
Hey did you guys hear that Russia is starting a new radio station?
They're calling it, "Putin on the hitz."
-_-
We were in the car listening to a radio station that was going in and out and this was the conversation Friend: What is this? His dad: I don't know but it sounds like music Friend and his mom: groans Me: Laughs and writes it down
