The Moth Puns

>!A mammoth.!<

Spreading their tiny legs.

Dentist says “shouldn’t you have gone to the doctor?”

Man says, “yea, but I saw the light on”

One's a tadpole, and the other is a pad toll.

Have you ever seen a moth bawl?

The dentist says, "I see. Well, what you need is a psychiatrist, not a dentist. Besides, moths don't have dental problems."

"I know," says the guy.

"So why are you here?" asks the dentist.

The guy answers, "The lights were on."

Two letters.

A really big moth!

Dad pulls up to a gas station,

Gas Girl: I notice you don't have many flies on you today(meaning his car)

Dad: No I showered this morning.

He still talks about this one….

If a spider catches more moths than they need, can they sell them on the web?

Doctor: What's the problem?

Me: I'm a moth.

Doctor: Excuse me?

Me: I'm a moth.

Doctor: Maybe you should see a psychiatrist not a dentist.

Me: I went to the psychiatrist about an hour ago.

Doctor: Then what are you doing here?

Me: Your light was on.

I was on an overnight trip to climb a mountain recently with my friend. We were eating dinner by headlamp when my friend exclaimed, " fuck you moth, get out of my eye." He then said to me, "that moth was a kamikaze son of a bitch." To which I replied, " I could hear him yell

'FOR THE MOTH... erland!'

Recently a moth flew into our sliding glass door and fell to the ground. It must have been stunned and barely conscious. Luckily, I was able to revive it using mouth to moth resuscitation!

The physio: what is wrong?

The moth: I feel so depressed, worthless, useless to society, and I really need help.

The physio: This is a Physiotherapists, I deal with physical issues, you need to go to a Psychologist, a shrink. Why did you come in here?

The Moth: "The light was on"

I'm looking for the moth-meme prophecies

Girl on the show is addicted to sniffing moth balls and he says:

"It must be hard for those moths to fly with balls that big."

and tells the doctor,

Moth: Doc, I've got a terrible problem. My wife left me. I hate my job. I'm so depressed that I often contemplate suicide.

Doc: I don't know how to help you. You need to see a psychiatrist. Why do you come to my office?

Moth: The light was on.

Were (my parents, aunt, uncle and I) out getting ice cream, when my mom points out malt ball ice cream. my dad, being the joker he is, says "moth balls? that's a weird flavor" we have a laugh, get our ice cream, and walk outside. In the wake of "moth balls", I ask my uncle "have you ever smelled moth balls?"

"of course" he responds.

I nod my head, then promptly ask "how'd you get the little things legs apart?"

.

Dad: "have you ever smelled moth balls?"

Me: "yeah, they don't smell very good"

Dad: "weird cause I've been trying pretty hard but I can't seem to get the tiny legs apart."

Dad: Have you ever seen mothballs?

Mom: Yes.

Dad: Was it hard to holding the moth down so you could spread apart his little legs?

A guy walks into his dentist's office and says "Doc, I think I might be a moth."

The dentist replies, "ok.....so why did you come in here?"

The man says, "because the light was on."

Son: Dad there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? Plz hurry because I'm going to cry. Dad? DAD?

Dad: Dad is dead. You're next. Love, moth.

NOTE

This is taken from a screenshot of a text message that I found online. ( NOT on Reddit)

Grandma ask the girlfriend "well have you ever had to smell moth balls before?"

Girlfriend replies " Oh yeah, I've smelt them many times before, doesn't bother me"

Grandma "How in the world did you get your nose between their legs to smell 'em?!?!"

Upon noticing moths in our pantry, my dad, mom and I try to figure out what food they have gotten into.

Mom: Do you think they got into the life cereal?

Dad: I really hope not. If they did that would be the end of my life.

Dad: Have you ever smelled moth balls?

Me: yes, of course

Dad: Really? How did you get the damn things legs apart?