Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?

They were just following the chicken!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Colbosky
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I got voted in as Chairman of the Walkie-Talkie Association today

The vote was 10 - 4

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cotswoldboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I just got a new job at Old McDonald's farm as the chairman of the board.

I'm now the C-I-E-I-O

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SportsNerdist
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I have scratched and clawed to become the chairman of this company

I am now the #1 chair maker of the company.

Though, looking back, it seemed unethical, considering the fact that tools exist

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_Gentlemanbird
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2018
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What is the title of a person who is in charge of a furniture company?

The chairman.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pun-isher42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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If I owned a furniture store...

it would be called Ottoman Empire. I'd be the chairman. I'd really be turning the tables of furniture sales. I'd put my futon anyone who tries to stop me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_otterinabox
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
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The Gun Show

I went to a gun show last weekend, and they were interviewing the NRA chairman on some new gun laws. They wanted to get people excited, so they shot t-shirts out into the audience with a t-shirt gun. They wanted to shoot money instead, but they were told they couldnโ€™t use the money gun; it was a Cash .22.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Patisfaction
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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My husband and I were making dinner, and I asked him what I should cook the collards in.

He suggested I use "former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greens-pan".

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pactrina
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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Can't even walk through the house

So I was moving a chair from one room to another, carrying it through the hallway

Dad: "Everybody behave, it's the chairman!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
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This response infuriated me more than "go and clean your room then"

Me: Dad, I'm bored! Dad: I'm chairman of the board

UGHHHHH DAAAAAAD.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lozzie87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 16 2014
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