What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
...Australians usually boo meringue
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?
What is the difference between an Australian pop star and Jesus on the toilet?
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue
I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.
Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers
An American, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, a Burmese, a Chinese, a Canadian, a Dutchman, a Dane, an Englishman, an Estonian, a German, a Japanese, a Korean, a Mexican, a Nepalese, a Pole, a Russian, and a Welshman all walk into a posh bar. The doorman says sorry, we have standards.
You can’t come in without a Thai.
Luck rituals in the Australian Open.
I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.
I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.
Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."
He just smiled...
...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
This morning, I told my Australian friend that the store was having a sale, and that he should check it out. He looked up at me, took out his earphones and said...
Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!
Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
Who is the Australian Frankenstein's favourite music artist?
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?
"Can I have the check, mate?"
What did the Australian say to the toilet?
What's the favourite type of cake of Australians?
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
Why are Australian dad jokes the best?
Because they are koala tea.
For all the Australian’s convenience so they can see the top meme without having to look upside down.
Have you heard of the new Australian earphones that let everyone down?
They were noice-cancelling.
Why couldn’t the Australian general win the war on bread?
Because it was stale, mate.
I heard that there’s an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees
It’s pretty high koala tea
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
The Royal Australian Mint has game
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might".
I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.
Bill really got the shorten of the stick.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
(My 3 year old came to me with that one this morning)
What did the Australian chess champion say to his waitor when he was finished with his lunch?
I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record.
I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"
Why couldn’t the Australian marsupial find a job?
Because he was underKoalafied.
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?
Good eye, mate. Good eye...
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?
What did the Australian child say on their 8th birthday?
Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...
....they call them pommigranites.
What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?
Are euchidding me?
Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!
The kids asked me why our Alexa in the basement has an Australian accent
Me: "Because the basement is down under the house"
What does the vegan Australian eat?
I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day
Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.
I was watching an Australian cooking show when the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.
I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.
I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.
I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.
What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?
I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded the chef for making a perfect meringue.
I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.
I was watching an Australian cooking show and was surprised when the audience cheered the meringue.
Australians usually boo-meringue.
I was watching an Australian cooking show and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked, Australians usually boo meringue.
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