I think it's a a job I can stick with
Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!
My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.
I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.
It was a tack-xing experience.
But everyone said it was tacky.
He's ok, but he made his whole week
Me: "So the floor attacked you!" Daughter: "Daaaaaad!"
He asks the class, "what does this mean", while still holding the thumb tack above his head. We sit there puzzled for a moment until he says "It means I'm under a tack."
I said "It's a good job to stick with... Just making a point..."
He seemed non-aggressive at first, but he’s quite angry now and it appears I’m under a tack.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.
I committed tacks evasion.
He was under a tack
We're under a tack!
With a finger nail
Help! I’m under a tack!
Then it'll be a tack on Titan.
It was under a tack.
http://i.imgur.com/Ltnox52.jpg
That's right; I got down to brass tacks.
Dad, stop..
sigh... (pulls tack off head)
My parents have been traveling the world and my Mom bought my Dad a big world map (in a frame) for his birthday. It comes with tacks that you stick into the countries you have visited. Once they put the tacks in I dropped this.
Me: Isn't it funny how every country you have visited is now "under attack"?
My Mom glared at me and it took my Dad a couple seconds. He giggled and gave me that "I'm laughing but you know that was terrible" look.
Girlfriend: The clothes cost $225, that's with tax and everything.
Her dad: Tacks?! Don't they stay on by themselves?
He was inspecting my tacks on a project and said "Real good tacks Steakfatt." I replied "would you say they are spec-TACK-uler?" He shook his head and walked away.
My dad was taking us fishing & we stopped off to get bait. So the guy behind the counter said, "That'll be two dollars for the worms, and fourteen cents for the tax."
"That's okay," my dad said, "We don't need tacks. They'll stay on the hooks by themselves."
I think the worm guy is still chuckling.
Because it was under a tack.
