Got to stud-dee to get my de-gree in my fave subject, Pun-o-graphy !
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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Hot and fresh, made to order puns!

Do you need a pun? Just ask!

I can do puns with just one subject, puns that connect two subjects, pun pickup lines, and pun-chlines for jokes of the form "____ walks into a bar."

Just comment on this post with the subject you need a pun on, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrAcurite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..

..no one even raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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What's a bull's favorite subject?

Cow-culus.

(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/talin342
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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My wife shouted, "You need to do more chores around the house!" Groaning, I pleaded, "Can we change the subject?" She smiled and calmly replied...

"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djar399
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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What's a seal's favorite subject?

Art Art Art!

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oatli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, don’t open it...

It’s spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoccerRN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, β€œYou’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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If anyone gets an email from me with the subject 'My meat', don't open it.

It's spam.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...

....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What is a snake's favorite subject?

Hisssss tory

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The one subject I was bad at in school
  1. Langwhich
  2. Maths
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What is a ghost’s favorite math subject?

Boo-lean Algebra

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shmarfle47
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My trigonometry teacher loves talking about unrelated subjects for a long time

I guess you could say that he sometimes goes off on a sin/cos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterCheezOtter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What's a witch's favorite subject?

Spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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If I had 50 cents for every maths Exam I failed

I’d have $8.40.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My kids got on the subject of lava & asked: β€œCan you drink it?!”

So I said, β€œSure! But it’ll go right through you!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soofadalooka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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What is a king's least favorite subject?

History

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My least favorite subject in school was ancient history.

The teacher always tended to Babylon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swift-Carrots
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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My wife says I change subjects too often when I'm talking to people.

I'm glad it rained today so I don't need to water the lawn. Anyone else feel like pizza for dinner?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/testmonkeyalpha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi series of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Let’s start this off by breaking the ice. It’s a slippery subject, but I know we can crack it!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoFish484
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, don’t open it.

It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YellowSnow2807
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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OPun (Open source Puns) database from my site released

Hopefully this post is allowed. 5 or so years ago, I decided to post puns that I either came up with or enjoyed a lot. My goal was to make it easy to find puns based on a topic or subject. So I heavily tagged all of the entries with relevant information. I've consistently uploaded new puns on at least a weekly basis, but usually every 3 days.

I've amassed a large collection that I've decided to open source. I've dumped my database into a JSON file that is open and free to use (with proper attribution).

Let me know what you think!
https://punatorium.com/opun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabberzx3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What is a fish's favorite subject?

Astronomy.

*Mercury

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacpowerz1
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Braille is a very touchy subject
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathPreys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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My Dad told me he always struggled with three subjects in school;

Maths, and he couldn’t remember the other one.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Re_Peter_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Definitely
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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On the subject of books, I also read one about the ocean.

It was pretty deep

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midwest-distrest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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What was the snake’s favorite subject in school?

Hisstory

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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why is life hard for the kittens who make the most adorable noises

they are subject to constant purr-so-cuteion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twitchard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What subject does Dr Pepper specialize in?

Fizz-ics

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AK4TSUKi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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What's Darth Vader's favorite subject?

Mechanics, Because it talks about the force.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackStonerZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Algebra was the easiest subject to learn in Ancient Rome.

Because x was always 10.

πŸ‘︎ 680
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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I'm a primary school teacher and one of my kids got me in the lols with this one today... what's a witch's favorite subject?

Spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Subject: weather

I’m curious as to how many puns can be fit into one comment before it no longer becomes funny.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobs-revenge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I hate it when people say humour is only subjective.

It can also be a verb.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeSanti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Animals should be used to represent school subjects...

English should be a hawk, they have good eyes, and you need good eyes for reading. History should be bowhead whales since they’ve lived through more than anyone else. And finally, maths should be snakes, I hear they’re great Adders.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalName172
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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What is a seals favorite subject?

Art Art Art Art!!!

πŸ‘︎ 742
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmicnate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 499
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πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drsmba729
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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What is a seal's favorite subject in school?

Art

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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