Got to stud-dee to get my de-gree in my fave subject, Pun-o-graphy !
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︎ May 29 2020
Hot and fresh, made to order puns!
Do you need a pun? Just ask!
I can do puns with just one subject, puns that connect two subjects, pun pickup lines, and pun-chlines for jokes of the form "____ walks into a bar."
Just comment on this post with the subject you need a pun on, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but these days when you mention Botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
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︎ Oct 07 2021
Chemistry used to be my favorite subject.
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︎ Oct 26 2021
The subject of cosmology came up once, but I accidentally said βcosmetologyβ. My friends laughed at me. I told them βwell, theyβre easy to mix upβ¦
β¦ because they both study the makeup of the universe β
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︎ Oct 08 2021
What were the leaf's favorite school subjects?
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︎ Aug 31 2021
Mathematics is the hardest school subject.
Even after you finish it, the aftermath awaits.
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︎ Jul 11 2021
One of my friends was talking about trees, but he trailed off into a different subject. So I told him that he needed to stick to the point.
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︎ Jul 12 2021
To whoever stole my depression medication:
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︎ Sep 18 2021
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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︎ Sep 14 2021
What's a bull's favorite subject?
Cow-culus.
(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)
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︎ Apr 08 2021
The subject of money
One morning at a bank, a robber pulled out a gun, pointed it at a teller, and said, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"
The puzzled teller asked, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history'?"
The robber replied, "Don't change the subject!"
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︎ Jun 10 2021
Two chemists walk into a bar.
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."
The firstο»Ώ chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.
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︎ Sep 26 2021
Whats a snakes favourite subject?
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︎ Jul 04 2021
Accounts is a very interesting subject.
Because it has interest in it.
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︎ Jun 29 2021
My wife shouted, "You need to do more chores around the house!" Groaning, I pleaded, "Can we change the subject?" She smiled and calmly replied...
"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."
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︎ Apr 19 2021
My 9-year-old daughter just made a dad joke to be super proud of!
My 15 year old asked me to call the dog.
Me: What should I call him?!
15: ugh, dad, call him by his name!
Wife: But he doesn't have a phone, how can I call him?
9-year-old: Well he DOES have collar ID!
I couldn't be more proud of that child!
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︎ Aug 02 2021
An ancient Egyptian king and his subjects had nearly the same farts...
They had a toot-in-common
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︎ Jun 07 2021
I received an email where someone made some comments about a group of people called Mark. The subject? ...
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︎ Jun 12 2021
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, βGive me all your money or youβre geography!β Puzzled, the teller asks, βDonβt you mean history?β
The robber yells, βDonβt change the subject!"
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︎ Aug 19 2021
Why isn't holy water used in vaccines?
Because you can't take the lord's name in vein.
Credit to my brother.
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︎ Jul 22 2021
What's a seal's favorite subject?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Aliaksei Shostak's thoughts on his trampoline performance at the Olympics
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︎ Jul 31 2021
What do you call a Gay person on fire?
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︎ Aug 11 2021
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︎ Sep 25 2021
My son asked me why I didn't put on sunscreen after putting it on him.
I told him I already had my dadscreen on.
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︎ Sep 25 2021
If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, donβt open it...
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︎ Mar 28 2021
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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︎ Aug 02 2021
When registering for college classes, pick ones taught by heterosexual Canadians whenever possible.
They always give straight "eh"s.
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︎ May 24 2021
I'm in favor of nuclear energy...
... though a lot of people are split on the subject.
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︎ Oct 14 2021
If anyone gets an email from me with the subject 'My meat', don't open it.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What is a snake's favorite subject?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a housewarming party.
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︎ Sep 01 2021
I just came up with the greatest cliffhanger
β β β β β β β
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︎ Jul 02 2021
How do you cut the ocean in half?
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︎ Jun 09 2021
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
They call me Mr. Earthquake, because whenever I walk into a room...
I change the subject to earthquakes.
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︎ Oct 14 2021
What is a ghostβs favorite math subject?
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︎ Sep 23 2020
My trigonometry teacher loves talking about unrelated subjects for a long time
I guess you could say that he sometimes goes off on a sin/cos
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I just just scrolling through YouTube and saw a video titled "how to stop procrastinating"
So I added it to my watch later list.
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︎ Jul 30 2021
What's a witch's favorite subject?
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10.β
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
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︎ Mar 16 2021
The one subject I was bad at in school
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 10k
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︎ Mar 01 2021
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, βGive me all your money or youβre geography!β The teller replies, βDonβt you mean history?β
The robber says, βDonβt change the subject!"
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︎ Oct 08 2021
What is a seals favorite subject?
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
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