Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
My Mum’s been randomly telling me Dad jokes
I’m so confused and a little scared
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon
I didn’t expect it to be a period piece
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!
I've caught the car owner virus !
Any random man: Arya Stark?
Arya: Yes I am.
Sansa: Yes I am.
Robb: Yes I am.
Bran: Yes I am.
Rickon: Yes I am.
Ned: Yes I am.
Jon Snow: No, I'm not
I'm terrified of random letters
me: i'm terrified of random letters
therapist: you are?
me: [screams]
therapist: oh i see
me: [screaming intensifies]
What is the largest type of bar?
a Bus Bar
random thought while being passed by a bus.
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day
Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?
Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor
...and I shout at him, “HEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, “teeth.”
🤦♂️
Does this make him the dad now?
Do you accept random Facebook requests?
I wanted to tell a joke about a dumb person who ran
But that'd just be random
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.
I said: "There's the door."
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"
I hate when random people I don't know complain,
"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.
Suck at puns, but i randomly found this
One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music
I think it’s the Chopin board.
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!
Donald : Wrong!
Donald : Im peach
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?
Ernie: Sherbert
EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.
It was a difficult habit to kick.
You can’t just eat random things, Becky
I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower”
I think I might have Florets.
(Edinburgh fringe festival 2019: credit to the comedian Olaf Falafel)
I have a random question, "what is entropy?"
This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
I don't like drinking a random, unattended beverage at a restaurant.
It's just not my cup of tea.
For the Random Encounters fans...
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: you are?
Me: [Screams]
Therapist: I see
Me: i am affraid of randomly thrown alphabets
Therapist: are you?
Me : screams
Therapist : oh i see
Me:screaming intensifies
Terrified of Random Letters
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: Are you?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances....
I said "There's the door"
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