It was an unexpected Journey.
A heroine addict
"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"
"Why?" the boy replied.
"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"
The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."
My doctor says itβs terminal.
Pulp fiction.
I took it as a sign from above.
It was too time consuming.
I said, "O.K.....I'll give it arrest.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
The steaks were too high
You unplug it!
Because he's a Law A 'Biden' citizen
People kept losing their heads.
I had to put my foot down.
He ran out of gas.
It's Karltural appropriation
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
They call it Koo-Kee Do
Which is strange, because I donβt have any kids.
But he really enjoys hearing them, so I donβt think Iβll quit just yet.
I said maybe
I'm calling it The No-Bell Peace Prize.
Idc if you steal this I just thought of it while making lunch and I got another one of them.
But I just canβt quit cold turkey
They said "please hold"
I swear it has no chill.
And start calling them βpencil shortenersβ. Weβll see how long my family can take it
I donβt know why. I said I only wanted one night stand.
it's becoming a pain in the ass.
They wear tide-die!
EDIT: I know itβs not exactly the dryest humor but I still thought it was fun.
They were going cheep
I realized that was it, and I had to put my foot down.
...he tells the owner and bartender that heβs a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.
Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. βWhat IS that?β βThatβs my signature almond daiquiriβ, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him itβs delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.
Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that heβs run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.
The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, βThatβs not an almond daiquiri, Dick!β And Dick says, βNo, itβs a hickory daiquiri, Doc!β.
Sorry, but I had to put my foot down with that one.
One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean
I guess itβs the beginning of adictionary
I never saw it coming, wouldnβt have suspected it
I thought: "Why knot?"
He had interior motives
It was an unexpected Journey.
My doctor says itβs terminal
So I had to put my foot down.
I think it may be terminal
