What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?

"It was a wok in the park."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ragna_Blade
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My wife got mad when she found me cooking stir fry on our dog.

I don't know why she got mad. She told me to take him for a wok.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Danielaurence
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I made a cabbage, carrot and corn stir-fry tonight! The recipe called for tilipia, but I put in pork. I realize now that I should have put in chicken, though...

...it's supposed to be a C-food stir-fry.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wmcduff
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call a zombie who stir fries?

Dead Man Wokking

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 68
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wallagm
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why does a chef not cook stir fry for his family ?

He doesn't like bringing his wok home.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BuddhaBlessThou
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I asked my chef friend how hard it would be to make a stir-fry in a meadow?

He said it was just a wok in the park

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/davidrobertson344
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Added a rainbow to my dinner stir fry... I'm trying to eat light.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smei2388
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Real life dad joke. Yesterday I was cooking a stir fry and added some diced carrots โ€˜for carrot-nessโ€™, I said.

My daughter who was helping, added some peas, โ€˜for pea-nessโ€™ she said. Then fled laughing.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 35
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 18 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the depressed stir-fry?

It hit wok-bottom.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OliverRereads
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 29 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What did the judge say to the physician cooking multiple dishes at a stir-fry competition when time ran out?

Woks up, doc

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hello_Kitty07
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Making stir fry with my girlfriend

She says: "We need to have a wok at some point".

I responded: "But it's so cold, can't we just drive?"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 32
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/capitanogoodhue
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm not sure whether to do a stir fry this evening or defrost some fish.

I suppose you could say I'm stuck between a wok and a hard plaice.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/starlinguk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22 2015
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
After cooking a stir fry for the first time tonight

"I don't think the stir-fry was a wokking success. I just couldn't get my noodle around it"

Nothing but silence so far..

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pm_me_your_dad_jokes
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The True Meaning of Pansexuality
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VinceFearsAEW6440
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I rented out a room to two beautiful Chinese Women..

They never complain, they keep to themselves and they always pay their rent on time. The only weird thing is they insist on paying me in stir-fry. But all in all, I guess they're pretty lo mein tenants.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Schnauss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My dad made his first dad joke in a long time

For context: we have a vegetable garden and a dog named Max

During dinner, my mom remarked how her stir fry was made almost entirely out of vegetables from our garden except the eggs, to which my dad said โ€œwell then weโ€™ll just have to raise some chickens.โ€

I reply, โ€œwell what about Max?โ€, implying that he might attack the chickens.

And without hesitation my dad replies, โ€œwell he canโ€™t lay eggsโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 745
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Asian_dodo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A woman asks her husband in the morning regarding breakfast.......

"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It must be the Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite.

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says: ""Can you now stop and get off me? I'm bloody starving!!".

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ball5deeper
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I used to frequently go on walks...

...but too many customers complained of their stir-fry tasting like urine.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/meyerss1985
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Remember PacMan!

What does PacMan use to make a stir-fry?

A wok, a wok, a wok, a wok......

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/prophylaxitive
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My girlfriend got really annoyed

We were making a stir fry for supper, and I asked her if she would cook, because she makes stir fries more often than I do. She asked me when I was going to figure it out, so I would need her to 'wok me through it'. She stopped talking to me for about 10 minutes. Worth it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 74
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/4C30F5W0RD5
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 11 2015
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I misplaced a very small tool

Today my wife and I decided to go to the store when she got home from work for stir-fry supplies. I hadn't gone anywhere all day, so I had to grab my shoes and socks. I guess I'd misplaced one of my tiny screwdrivers from my toolbag and it had ended up inside a shoe. It plopped out into my palm when I tried to shake out the shoe, which prompted me to turn to my wife and exclaim, "Phew! That was a close call! I almost really screwed up my foot!" She gave me a look that said 'I am way too tired to deal with this nonsense'. Stir-fry was fantastic, though.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mrtorbear
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 24 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Vegetarian trifecta while making dinner with my wife.

So, on Sunday my wife and I were making stir fry for lunch after church. I chopped up some flank steak and test fried a piece in the wok, pulled it out, cut it in two, and we each tried a piece to see how it tasted (in case it needed more ginger or garlic or oyster sauce). This conversation happened.

My wife: (enjoying the flavor) How do couples where one person is a vegetarian handle meals?

Me: I guess the man has a help meet for him like Adam.

Her: I'm being serious, how do they do it.

Me: I know, right? People get married for lots of carnal knowledge.

Her: (annoyed) All kidding aside, I'm curious how people make that work.

Me: Give me some time to flesh out my argument, and I'm sure I can find a couple that hasn't butchered their relationship.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wuapinmon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 20 2015
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Veggies

Mom explained what was in the stir fry she just cooked up.

"Trust me, you'll like what's in it: summer vegetables".

Dad -- "And summer not".

he he he

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 61
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PestoPRESTO
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 11 2013
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My dad on mushrooms (the food, not the hallucinogenics)

My mom chopping up mushrooms for a stir fry, while I'm sitting in the adjacent living room.

Dad walks up to Mom and says "No fungi for this fun guy!" With the exuberance of a kid on Christmas. Needless to say, I cringed fairly hard.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rheino
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22 2013
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.