A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...

The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReceptionSweet383
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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My wife showed me how she’d stab me if I ever cheated on her.

The knife didn’t go all the way in, but I got the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barrysmitherman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do you call a killer who stabs people in the head?

A Cerebral Killer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommercialButton5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Should I give it another stab or leaf it as is?
πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fliskiedatboi28
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?

They played rock paper Caesar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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French zombies are impervious to wooden stakes. You have to stab them with baguettes...

... which is a pain staking process.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug It

Cactus

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishboshTV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What should you do if you accidentally stab a cow?

Remove the stake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimeMvr
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Only way to kill a French vampire is to stab it in its heart with a baguette.

But the whole damn process is painstaking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fyrebrand18
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Take a stab
πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XGN_Carter1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Afterall it was all about STAb-ility.
πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchiamgroot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Anyone wanna take a stab at some good fencing puns?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanyew3sttt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What is it to stab a tomato?

TO-MURDER

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wroberts316
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
You are traveling along the Oregon Trail, and you meet a man named Terry. You say "Terry? That's a girls name!" In anger, Terry stabs you to death.

You have died of dissin' Terry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eleventhearlofmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Any salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough times
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enzene
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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I asked a friend if he thought he could kill me. He said, "I don't know, I guess I could take a stab at it"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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Why did the prisoner try to stab the other prisoner?

He wanted to be more shivalrous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the Vampire Hunter stab the Vampire in the Shoulder

He made a Miss stake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phatgoat24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
🚨︎ report
How did the Roman senators pick who will stab the emperor first?

Rock paper Caesar

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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