I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin.

So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why did they pull a lawsuit against the spa for their wax treatment?

It was a ripoff.

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👤︎ u/kgangadhar
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Not many people knew that the spa is closed

A lot of them didn’t get the massage.

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👤︎ u/risanthy
📅︎ Jun 28 2020
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At the spa:
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📅︎ Apr 27 2019
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What do Japanese gang members do at the spa?

They relax in the Yakuzzi.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/aaaninja2
📅︎ Apr 12 2015
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A friend of mine quit their job recording background sounds for Hollywood films to open a spa.

I have to say that the difference in my skincare regimen is incredible, now that it's ex-foley aided!

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Feb 19 2019
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What are often given at spa's after april ?

A may-ssage

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📅︎ May 26 2018
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Did you hear? The president is opening up a day spa once he leaves office.

He said: "I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this massage."

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📅︎ Jan 19 2017
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I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...

Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.

👍︎ 35
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📅︎ Mar 01 2021
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Why did the German go to so many aromatherapy venues?

He likes a lot of spas

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📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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What do you call a bad Italian neighborhood?

A spa-ghetto

👍︎ 17
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📅︎ May 11 2019
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My Jewish friend got his son the best 13th birthday gift.

So his son plays baseball and his mitt was in rough condition. They make these little boxes for baseball mitts that put out heat, humidity, and massage the mitt slightly to keep it in good condition. They're pretty small and can fit on a kitchen counter top. It's best to keep them near the sink to refill the water reservoir when it gets low. It's helpful if it's like right above the sink. My friend had put his on the bar behind the sink.

It was seriously the nicest bar mitt spa I had ever seen!

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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Where does a meatball go to get a massage?

The Spa Ghetti

👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/HumanBiped
📅︎ Jan 21 2019
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Out of the blue, I decided to take my wife to a commercial establishment offering health and beauty treatment through such means as steam baths, exercise equipment, and massage

You could say the decision was pretty spa-radic

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👤︎ u/Avasnay
📅︎ Apr 12 2019
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Did you hear about Robert Kraft getting arrested for solicitation?

Apparently the spa he went to had been under investigation for a year and he just happened to go there but was arrested before he could finish. I guess his lawyers will have to...get him off.

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👤︎ u/rwwterp
📅︎ Feb 22 2019
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My dad stepped on a drill bit. He was gilded by this response.

http://imgur.com/tSpaVNE

👍︎ 63
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📅︎ May 17 2017
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I dadjoked my client

I'm a massage therapist in a spa. While working with a client, she mentioned she plays violin, works out regularly, and runs a successful business. Then:

Client: "I also like to do a lot of gardening."

Me: "Seems like you've got your hands in quite a few pots!"

She agreed then continued about how she enjoyed gardening. She finished speaking, then after 5 minutes of silence she yells, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just got your joke about the pots!"

Best response to a dadjoke I've ever gotten.

👍︎ 147
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📅︎ May 23 2015
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What do you call an edgy Italian neighbourhood?

The Spa-Ghetto

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📅︎ Dec 04 2016
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How does a massage therapist practice martial arts?

Full-contact spa-rring.

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👤︎ u/Nirrith
📅︎ Jul 27 2015
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What do you call an Italian suburb?

A spa-ghetto.

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👤︎ u/Arm3tt
📅︎ Feb 17 2019
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