Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
Sorry this isn’t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks
I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!
Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
I came up with this, I’m sorry
What do you call beef that was cooked wrong?
A misteak
===
This is awful I’m sorry
The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve time travelers"
Two time travelers walk into a bar
I'm sorry
I once tried telling a chemistry joke
But i got no reaction
im sorry... so sorry
https://preview.redd.it/q5qwe293xq351.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=012dd15015339e123d09a939a70fc64b604e11d4
ba dum tss (sorry for the light mode)
I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
I'm sorry, I just had to play with my food
Sorry, my confile is in private
My fucking dad was sending me some credentials, and he attached this photo with it.... Sorry if this doesn't fit here.
Shitty pun with a shitty photoshop, sorry
I'm sorry but you can't ride your pony today it has a throat infection.
Doctor *arrives late* sorry for the wait
i just learn that sorry is improper grammar and that the correct way to say it is i'm sorry
Sorry I’m late for cinco de Mayo. What do you call churros that have sat out on your counter all day?
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
OK that was a bad one I'm sorry
Somebody stopped me the other day in the shopping center and said "oh, sorry, i thought you were someone else" .
Eye'm sorry for this one :(
The fish and chip shop: “Sorry sir we’re all out of fish.”
Me: “I knew it, there is no cod!”
I'm sorry man, I had to do it
Im sorry i can't talk today. I have p!nk eye
ME: *coughing* I'm sorry my voice is a little hoarse.
CHESS PLAYER: did.. did you just swallow my knight?
Sorry guys, we are still closed but I did a few to keep them coming in these strained times.
I feel sorry for New Yorkers right now because of the high number of Corona infected people. Hopefully they're the last to get it. Unfortunate for China though
They got it right off the bat
Doctor: Sorry for being late
Man: It's not a problem, I'm patient
Helping my work colleague with her car. "I'm sorry, it's not looking good....
... I think it's caught the car owner virus"
Sweet revenge:) (also the edit is because I had to translate the message so sorry about that)
i'm so sorry
Q: what did the scientist say when they found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
One for all the musicians out there sorry not sorry
As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government
After all, they’re still stuck in the last decade
Sorry if this joke is too callus
i’m sorry you had to see this
I'll bet she likes KateFC, *sorry for that*
Sorry guys but I’m feeling a little bit puny today
You’ve got to feel sorry for Philip Schofield
Only just come out and now he is being told he has to stay in.
Sorry in advance, dark mode users!
Sorry if that has already been posted
Sorry princess
If the actress who played Padme Amidala wore an outfit that showed a crease at her crotch it would be a Natalie Portmanteau
I'm sorry this is so "cheesy"
Sorry this is a little cheesy
Sorry if this is too cheesy.
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.
[Looking over cart full of TP]
Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"
I was waiting for a long time at the restaurant. The waiter came and said; sorry for your wait...
I said: are you calling me fat?
A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".
They ask "Was it arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".
Edit: holy shrimp! I got silver! Thanks for the reception!
sorry i don't speak mandarin
I can’t think of a title I’m sorry
Sorry, I'm a little short
Pun maybe funny (sorry english is my fourth language).
You thought other puns were bad? wait until you (sorry I dunno how to add text to images and i'm new to reddit)
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
sorry if this has been posted already; from r/conspiracy
They got all the Russian puns, I'm sorry I can't contribute.
Sorry but this has been at the back of my mind for 2 days
Sorry about the coffee mate
I’m sorry
What’s a black hole’s favorite bedtime activity?
.
.
.
Eating mass
I came home and saw a note from my wife stuck on the fridge: “I’m sorry. This isn’t working. You take things too literally. Goodbye.”
She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.
I can't think of a pun for this, sorry
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist
Depressed = not pressed (sorry if that ruined the joke but last time I posted this nobody got it)
Sorry I can't word this better.
So we're watching Doctor Who and we're mimicking the British accents and I had an epiphany... the way they pronounce stuff, like they leave out the hard T sound. City sounds like sih-E and kitten sounds like kih-en... Almost like British people have something against... tea. XD
Sorry if someone already put this here, just thought it was funny
sorry if this has been posted before
"I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it," A doctor said as he handed a man his newborn baby.
The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."
Doctor: I’m sorry but I had to remove a section of your colon.
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here
A time traveler walks into a bar.
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