I've been studying up on my slang and applying that to my pick up game, so far it's been successful.

More of a thot experiment really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmadilloEarWax
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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"Dad, when will you stop using slang that you don't understand?"

Not yeet, son!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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Did you hear about the super spy who was really into 50's era slang?

He's incogneato.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Youthful slang?

My son has not stopped asking me to do a "fortnight dance" for days now, I'm unsure of why he would want me to dance for an entire fortnight so I decided to check this subreddit to see if it's merely a joke commonly used against dads, can anyone help, thanks in advance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICDTAITP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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I love the way old and out-of-touch people try to sound cool when they use slang they don't understand.

I call it their "artifical hip".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoftCriticTy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Do they have slang in sign language?

Not too sure about slang, but there's definitely some shorthand.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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When you're an English major and your dad tries to use "the new slang" in his jokes

You must be having a good semester then since all your classes are Lit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ethernetcord
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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Just read that "Boo" is Australian Slang for 'to return'.

Because when you try to throw an ordinary merang, it doesn't work so well....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bridgeru
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
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I just got my husband with my best one yet

I said, β€œwhat have I told you about leaving the power tools out where the dogs can reach them?”

He looked really confused and said β€œWhat? I didn’t leave anything out”

β€œbecause the dog is over here sawing some logs!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaxinthebox14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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So the house cats went to the tigers engagement party.

The tigers were having a great time, roaring, baring teeth and in general having a great time. The cats were sitting quietly off to the side. The tigers asked the cats, β€œWhy so quiet ? Don’t you like to have some boisterous fun ?” The cats replied, β€œOh yes, we used to be tigers too. Until we got married.”

PS. (This sounded way better when my friend told me in the original Malayalam language slang poocha-pulee)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinospam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I kid you not.

My dad thought K-pop was slang for okay dad.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I found my girlfriends butthole makeup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwanNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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(Scottish Joke) Why did the cow go on holiday?

Because it had a wee calf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSupremeClaw
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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Guy annoys girlfriend with puns at Ikea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabuTheBunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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I didn't realize this was so hard

A conversation between my wife and me on the way home from a concert:

  • Me: It was a good show tonight but I couldn't believe the amount of updog all over the stage.
  • My Wife: What are you talking about?
  • Me: The updog! It was all over the stage!
  • My Wife: I have no idea what you are talking about!
  • Me: All that updog!? It was right next to the henway. How could you miss it?
  • My Wife: I DON'T GET YOUR SLANG!

Why is this so hard?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyrockyou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
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My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves

He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/13zamanis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you next week...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakinhuge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2015
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Nature program dad joked.

My dad, step mum and I were watching a nature program. The topic turned to a lake that contained the largest number of wild mussels in the country. Cue conversation:

Dad: "I went to a party there once."

-Skeptical silence-

Dad: "Yeah, I pulled a mussel".

I groaned, step mum rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge the joke while dad is cracking up at himself. It took him a good minute to compose himself.

(For those unfamiliar with the slang, in England "to pull" someone means scoring/picking someone up at a bar/club/party or whatever)

EDIT cant spell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxdrop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Dadjoked in the produce aisle

I was at the grocery store with my teenage brother and when we went through the produce aisle he turned to me and said " Something about this aisle makes me feel like a guy who's been in a coma for the last 20 years trying to figure out the slang he missed" " What?" You know, because that's some rad ish" I've never been prouder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Realslimslendy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Coworker got my other coworker

I work at a pub and this was after hours when we were cleaning up.

Coworker 1: "Some guy tried to headbutt me tonight because I asked him to move whilst i was mopping"

Coworker 2: "Aha, what a nutter!"

Groans were had.

Not sure if it's just a UK thing, but 'nutting' someone is slang (I think) for headbutting someone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greenehh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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Dad jokes at baseball practice

Background: Head on a swivel = slang for "quick reflexes", more or less.

So some of us were taking a water break on the bench, when I spotted a wild baseball traveling right for my head going about 80 mph out of the corner of my eye. I lifted my glove and caught it in the most nonchalant way I could.

Team mate: Wow dude, way to keep your head on a swivel.

Me: Oh, no, my head is on a neck.

Team mate: blank stare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdog95
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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Hampton Court?

No it's just the way I walk.

This is a Morecambe and Wise joke but any time the palace is mentioned my Dad never fails to give the punchline. Hampton is old timey slang for penis if any non Brits are wondering and Hampton Court is a famous palace in London

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robt69er
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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