More of a thot experiment really.
Not yeet, son!
He's incogneato.
My son has not stopped asking me to do a "fortnight dance" for days now, I'm unsure of why he would want me to dance for an entire fortnight so I decided to check this subreddit to see if it's merely a joke commonly used against dads, can anyone help, thanks in advance
I call it their "artifical hip".
Not too sure about slang, but there's definitely some shorthand.
You must be having a good semester then since all your classes are Lit
Because when you try to throw an ordinary merang, it doesn't work so well....
I said, “what have I told you about leaving the power tools out where the dogs can reach them?”
He looked really confused and said “What? I didn’t leave anything out”
“because the dog is over here sawing some logs!”
The tigers were having a great time, roaring, baring teeth and in general having a great time. The cats were sitting quietly off to the side. The tigers asked the cats, “Why so quiet ? Don’t you like to have some boisterous fun ?” The cats replied, “Oh yes, we used to be tigers too. Until we got married.”
PS. (This sounded way better when my friend told me in the original Malayalam language slang poocha-pulee)
Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.
My dad thought K-pop was slang for okay dad.
Because it had a wee calf.
A conversation between my wife and me on the way home from a concert:
- Me: It was a good show tonight but I couldn't believe the amount of updog all over the stage.
- My Wife: What are you talking about?
- Me: The updog! It was all over the stage!
- My Wife: I have no idea what you are talking about!
- Me: All that updog!? It was right next to the henway. How could you miss it?
- My Wife: I DON'T GET YOUR SLANG!
Why is this so hard?
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
I'll tell you next week...
My dad, step mum and I were watching a nature program. The topic turned to a lake that contained the largest number of wild mussels in the country. Cue conversation:
Dad: "I went to a party there once."
-Skeptical silence-
Dad: "Yeah, I pulled a mussel".
I groaned, step mum rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge the joke while dad is cracking up at himself. It took him a good minute to compose himself.
(For those unfamiliar with the slang, in England "to pull" someone means scoring/picking someone up at a bar/club/party or whatever)
EDIT cant spell.
I was at the grocery store with my teenage brother and when we went through the produce aisle he turned to me and said " Something about this aisle makes me feel like a guy who's been in a coma for the last 20 years trying to figure out the slang he missed" " What?" You know, because that's some rad ish" I've never been prouder.
I work at a pub and this was after hours when we were cleaning up.
Coworker 1: "Some guy tried to headbutt me tonight because I asked him to move whilst i was mopping"
Coworker 2: "Aha, what a nutter!"
Groans were had.
Not sure if it's just a UK thing, but 'nutting' someone is slang (I think) for headbutting someone.
Background: Head on a swivel = slang for "quick reflexes", more or less.
So some of us were taking a water break on the bench, when I spotted a wild baseball traveling right for my head going about 80 mph out of the corner of my eye. I lifted my glove and caught it in the most nonchalant way I could.
Team mate: Wow dude, way to keep your head on a swivel.
Me: Oh, no, my head is on a neck.
Team mate: blank stare
No it's just the way I walk.
This is a Morecambe and Wise joke but any time the palace is mentioned my Dad never fails to give the punchline. Hampton is old timey slang for penis if any non Brits are wondering and Hampton Court is a famous palace in London
