A simple pun sparked a beautiful thread
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I make money by selling simple sandwiches
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My wife keeps calling me a simple machine.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
When a simple "Bye!β just doesn't cut it
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︎ May 27 2020
With the onset of age, I'm forgetting really simple things, like the fact that cheese is made from milk.
Previously it would've a curd to me.
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︎ Jun 30 2020
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︎ Jan 05 2020
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."
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︎ May 16 2020
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Simple Bob walks into a bar and says, Hey everybody...I got a job.
A barfly yells back at him...How is it something so stupid can get a job? Aren't you stupid?
Simple Bob smiles and says, No because if it's stupid and it works...It ain't stupid.
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︎ Mar 24 2020
I've created a simple and cheap period tracker
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︎ Apr 23 2020
simple yet so powerful
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︎ Oct 10 2019
A good pun plane and simple
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︎ Oct 04 2019
Simple, but still good
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Every kind of clickbait does these simple things:
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︎ Feb 05 2019
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Most people have 32 teeth and some have 6, it's simple meth.
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︎ Oct 10 2019
I just got fired from a job at a convention center explaining in simple terms to businesses why they should come demo their products at our conventions.
It's my exposition exposition ex-position.
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︎ Sep 02 2019
How to Fall down the Stairs: A Simple How-To
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 12
Step 20
And that concludes my simple how-to.
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︎ Jun 25 2019
I gave my son a simple job: nail down the floorboards.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!
Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"
Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.
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︎ Oct 16 2019
Which simple machine can catch a thief?
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Hereβs a simple guide on how to ride an escalator.
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︎ Jan 19 2019
saw this simple beauty on the interstate
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Yesterday, my son explained to me in very simple terms that I am an adult but he isn't...
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︎ Aug 07 2019
One time, someone told me they were cold, the solution was simple.
I told them to go to the corner of the room cuz it is 90 degrees
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︎ Aug 17 2019
Brief and Simple [OC]
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︎ Mar 16 2019
How can a simple spelling mistake lead to a lost pregnancy?
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︎ Jul 23 2019
Simple but effective pun
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︎ Mar 07 2019
Russian Dolls are simple.
Get one, and Putin the other.
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︎ Jun 02 2019
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.
I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes
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︎ Feb 09 2019
Simple Math
If I had 50 cents for every failed math test I every took, I would have like $ 6.30 by now.
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︎ May 06 2019
A simple spelling mistake brings out the best of Reddit.
Ah - the good ol' Mazda meowta
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9sgqbx/car_vs_dragons/e8oni93?utm_source=reddit-android
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︎ Oct 30 2018
Looking at fruit, short but simple
My girlfriend and I were looking at fruit in the supermarket, and while I wasn't looking, she said: "oh look, they have pears"
Me: "pears of what?" ;)
Her: "You think you're so funny"
He. He. He.
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︎ Apr 27 2019
I gave the art restoration people very simple instructions
If it ain't baroque, don't fix it
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︎ Apr 14 2019
Learning a a different alphabet is simple
Why, itβs as easy as ZQC!
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︎ May 23 2019
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︎ Oct 15 2016
Achieving world peace is simple. Just burn all musical instruments.
Then there will finally be no violins.
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︎ Jan 18 2019
The advantage to simple origami is
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︎ Mar 10 2019
In Germany, discussing breakfast is as simple as seeing it... ei to ei.
(Punchline: ei = German for egg, and we know how commonplace eggs are at breakfast.)
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︎ Dec 20 2015
The benefits of simple origami are twofold...
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︎ Dec 13 2018
Sometimes the best dad jokes are simple
This afternoon...
My wife: Our vacuum cleaner sucks.
Me: Prefect
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︎ Mar 22 2017
Got my son with a simple dad joke
My son is taking Geometry this year so I ask him.
Dad: What did you do in Geometry today
Son: Just Angles
Dad: Did you see any you liked?
Son: Did I see any what that I like? Angles?
Dad: Yeah did you see the Acute ones.
Son, wife, and daughter and groan at the same time.
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︎ Aug 02 2017
Classic, simple, just to reset your pun palette
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︎ Jun 15 2017
I bet my dad that in one simple move he wouldn't be my biological father anymore.
He didn't believe me, so I told him to kneel down while I stood on top of him.
"See!" I said
"Um... Sorry, but I'm still your dad", he replied
"Yeah, but now you're my step dad"
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︎ May 12 2018
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
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︎ Sep 19 2017
My dad gave me a simple job: nail down the floorboards.
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︎ Jun 08 2019
Yesterday, my son explained to me in very simple turns that I am an adult but he isn't...
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︎ Jul 21 2019
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