Sham Puns

After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.

Then is shampoo bullshit?

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Shampoo

..the sham rock.

Sham-pain

Champagne!

What music does a fake Irish singer sing?

Sham-Rock!

Yeah, its called sham poo.

Obviously a sham rock.

Yeah, they were sham rocks.

Sham poo.

Sham Poo

Sham-poo

Turns out it was a total sham

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

Turned out to be a sham...

Now it's just a sham rock

Maybe now she'll stop complaining that she's out of sham poo.

They're both sham-poo

• Kroger

• Wal-Mart

• Lucky's

• Whole Foods

• Winn Dixie

etc, etc

This morning my girlfriend was telling me about her new shampoo, that comes without additives and sulfates and all that jazz.

GF: It's called "no poo" shampoo

Me: Sounds like a bit of a sham to me

She didn't get it.

It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end...

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

A Sham-moo

Demand real poo.

I thought it came with a pillow case, but it was a sham.

They're both sham-poo.

It was just a sham.

I told her careful it might be a sham

So, short version of a long story... We lost our home in the Paradise, CA Camp Fire Nov 8, 2018. My wife was on the phone with our daughter who is in college, discussing new bedding for the new house.

They had been at it for quite a while, when I said, "Duvet have anything you like? It would be a sham if they didn't..."

Silence on the phone, then, "dad, just stop."

"Ok," I said, "Just get everything down that you like."

Sigh....

One of my better moments as a dad!

add an "e" into sham.

It turned out it was real pain

Sham Wow!

What a sham!

Even if one digests it, one will have sham poo.

... they got in trouble for using sham poo.

Sham-Pooh

I recently purchased a new bed and had the joy of trying to find all the necessary accessories for a California King bed. After spending a full Sunday with my girlfriend bouncing around different home stores, we finally have all the sheets, duvet covers and bed skirts we need. We've assembled our new frame and I start putting the bedding on our mattress. I'm struggling with getting everything put on and call out, "uh oh, I think we got some phony pillow cases."

Fear and anxiety paint her face as she rushes over and asks "what's wrong?!"

I quip back at her, "yeah, this thing is a sham!"

Me: Sham-Rock and Roll. My Dad: That's so funny it has be Dublin over with laughter.

Turned out to be a complete sham.

She said, “That’s gross.”

I replied, “What? All I did was a sham-poo!”

It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.

Because it's just a sham poo