Shallows Puns

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

He said that's a latke ask for!

Because there is no diving.

I hate the deep end of the pool

With only one eye, they have terrible depth perception.

That's why you don't eat Tide Pods.

But I can't be Neither Since I can't Swim!

Because they are non-reflective.

I know he means well.

You are all extremely shallow

Depth perception

This is deep

They’re very shallow

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

My father cuts me off and says " 'Well' Now that's a deep subject"

But they're out of "The Shallows" now

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

"Gee Rich...I guess I must have forgotten to pay you your allowance on monday. That;s the only reason I can think of you needing money on friday."

"Well.."

"Gone?"

"Well..."

"That's an extremely deep subject for a boy with such a shallow mind,"

I asked my son (3) what he was eating, and he says "Ed a mommy" (Edamame).

I of course respond with "No, that's da mommy!" and point to my wife.

That was terrible, So I set up a much better one. I told my wife that our friend Kevin had recently had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her when he found out she was missing three toes. She was shocked that Kevin would be so shallow.

I told her, "Didn't you know Kevin was Lack Toes Intolerant?" The kids did not understand why we were laughing so hard. I think my wife wanted to throw something at me.

I love terrible jokes.

It’s a deep subject.

Deep Subject.