Sesame Puns

After all they are the Master of Puppets.

Don’t worry I still have a tahini bit left

Prickle me Elmo

I replied,

“Well actually, sesame seeds were the ingredient that made hamburgers popular. Yup. Sesame seeds were the secret to success... ever since then, they’ve been on a roll.”

Their hair starts reseeding.

Banana nut (Doo-doo-doodoodoo) Banana nut (Doo-doodoo-doo) Banana nut (Doo-doo-doodoodoo-doodoodoo-doodoodoo-doodoo-doo-doo-doodoo-doo)

But I finished it in 10 months.

Ernie

A man is a bus driver on Sesame Street and insists on meeting all of his riders. At the first stop, two overweight women got on the bus; both are named Patty. At the next stop, a mentally challenged boy named Ross got on. At the final stop, a disgusting man named Lester Cheese got on, took off his shoes, and picked at his bunions.

When the bus driver got home, his wife asked him if he met anyone new that day. He said, "Two obese Patties, special Ross; Lester Cheese picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus."

I had to call my Berternie for legal help.

http://i.imgur.com/BKTP3fUh.jpg

He was on a roll

Just saw this with my son on a classic sesame street episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhSqlMrdyMo

Awesome.

Probably my favourite terrible joke of all time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82Dkf_UH_aI

Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.

I guess you could say I have Sesame Street cred.

Because they’re really good at it

Sesame!

A plane bagel

Because he has sesame seed buns.

Sesame

Count Calcula

Whenever my mom would make waffles...

Dad: "You know at times like these I sure am glad for the letter W, cause without it these would be simply awful.

Its the longest standing tradition in my family, going on 20 years....

Sesame Street smarts.

I looked at it and said “So... you need me to... Open Sesame?”

My daughter and I just a few minutes ago. It was adorable, needless to say.

>Me: What do you wanna watch, horseys (MLP) or Elmo World (Sesame Street actually)?

>uh-huh

>Elmo World or horseys?

>uh-huh

>Elmo World?

>uh-huh

>or horseys?

>uh-huh

>Kiddo, you can only choose one!

>One! ^holds ^up ^one ^finger

Be sure to put in your resume that you used to voice act on Sesame street, that way no mater what you are applying for you were an ex Bert.

sesame

Look for the sesame seed buns.

A dad joke courtesy of my 84 year old grandma.

I was looking forward to all the dad jokes at Benihana last night, and I was not disappointed! (Also, epic onion volcano!)

• Our chef says "Who wants egg roll?" and then rolls an egg across the cooking surface.

• When the chef added butter to the cooking vegetables, he threw his bowl of butter into the air a couple times and said "Look! Butterfly!"

• While prepping the shrimp, he put all the tails on his spatula and asked the 6-year-old at the table "You ordered just tail, right?"

• He put one sesame seed on his spatula, showed it to the 6-year-old and said "Japanese diet!"

• Our chef checks with everyone who ordered steak to see how they want it cooked, then says to the people who ordered chicken "For chicken, everyone want rare?" and then he laughed when one of the girls at the table got really confused.

I'm sure there were more that I can't remember once the sake kicked in.

Master of Puppets my ass...

The dad joke is here

The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.