I went to jail

But I never finished my

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/44Tekwan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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A 7-year-old boy is sitting in court during his parents' custody battle.

He shows up wearing an Ottawa Senators jersey, so the judge asks "Are you a Sens fan?" The boy nods his head.

During the custody battle, he is later asked if he wants to live with his mom. His reply is "No, she beats me when drunk."

The judge asks in shock, "Okay, what about your father?"

The boy replies, "But he beats me every day when he comes home from a bad work day!"

With no other options, the jude states "We will have to send you to a foster home." The boy protests.

"Well, who do you want to live with?" the judge asks.

The boy thinks a moment and says ,"The Ottawa Senators. They're nice to people in need, and they don't beat anybody."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoshP99
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Dadjoked my sister at Costco

Her:picks up pair of pants and smells them "Ugh, they smell like a tire."
Me: "Well obviously, they're clothes."
Her: "What? That doesn't make sen-- OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID."

It was the highlight of my day.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 416
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eyeshaw99
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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How to get a Japanese mathematician's attention?

1003.14 notice me plz explaination: one thousand = sen, 3.14 = pi, senpai = senior

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cnreika
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
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