I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic
Sails should go through the roof
I'm gonna start a German themed donut shop.
Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?
Pretty proud of that one.
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
For the past five years, I’ve said that i’m going to start jogging, but I never have
It’s starting to become a running joke at this point
If I start to identify as an invisible man, does that make me a....
I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.
Just need help getting it off the ground.
Since the start of the Covid outbreak I own the quietest bar in the land....
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut
But I heard they were under cutting everyone
I really ought to start losing weight...
But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.
Before I start, I need to see if this thing works.
"Everyone named Michael stand up."
Assorted people stand up
"And that concludes the mike check."
I’m thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesn’t have an ending
I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it...
Knock-knock.
>!Who's there?!<
Edit: my son told me this. I was confused at why I had to start it and then cracked up when he said “who’s there?”
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.
There's lots of prose and cons.
I just realized nothing starts with "n" and ends with "g"
I was tired of quarantine so I decided to go out and start skateboarding.
Now I’m totally sick, bro! 🤘🤘🤘
My wife keeps insisting that I should warm up before I start exercising.
Sounds like a stretch to me.
I wanna start a citrus NGO
I need to start wearing a diaper when I go to Vegas...
It’s always just a matter of time until craps ruin my day
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”
I always say I want to start jogging.
I asked a guy in a pub if he wanted a game of darts. He said “OK, nearest the bull starts”. ...
He went “Baaa”
I went “Moooo”
He said ok you start.
My wife and I were making nachos, and she told me she was gonna start grating the cheese.
I asked her if penmanship counts.
I want to start my own NYC pharmacy
I’ll call it Medicine Square Garden.
I was going to start a subreddit for people to post pictures of their favorite movers of air...
But OnlyFans was already taken.
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
I would like to start doing Yoga but I can never find the time to.
I'm going to start a club for procrastinators
I once tried to start my own table sauce business
But I found I was always playing ketchup
I've been trying to start playing golf
But I just can't get into the swing of things
I've decided to start making face masks for ducks
Nothing too fancy, but they fit the bill
I need to start a witch themed spicy steak sauce company.
Our slogan would be, “The only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
I really hope mailmen don’t start getting the Coronavirus
They’re really good carriers
I wanted to start gardening but I have a problem
I always start my day with makeup
It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
Gotta start early if I wanna be a pro dad someday
Sometimes I fumble when switching between chords on a guitar, but it’s just A Minor inconvenience.
I once tried to start a comedy career by telling jokes about my days as a pilot.
Sadly, I could never get my jokes to land, and just kept crashing and burning on stage.
I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.
I tried to start a conversation in the public restroom...
but everyone was occupied
I told my friends and family a coronavirus joke at the start of quarantine, and no one laughed.
Daughter: “Dad, ask me who sings this song. I’ll give you a clue, it starts with the letter ‘S’!
Dad: “First, ask me if I care. I’ll give you a clue, it starts with the letter ‘N’”
On his 60th Birthday, I asked my grandpa to start running 5 miles a day.
Now he’s 65 and I don’t know where he is.
I was going to start an all cashew diet
But then I realized that’s just nuts...
Let’s start this off by breaking the ice. It’s a slippery subject, but I know we can crack it!
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