Cheap?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/audiereyes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
To be a Dina soar.
πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GambitsReturn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
An old woman flew overseas for the first time.

She said it was an uplifting experience

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordoftheClouds00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...

A real iSoar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw today that peanuts have soared in price and Beer nuts are insanely expensive!

Fortunately, deer nuts are still under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dancing bird?

He was very Talonted

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDomDom1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my son I could fly

He thought I was just batty

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the soar throat say to the throat lozenge?

You’re killin me halls!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sumppump202
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sick eagle?

Illegal.

πŸ‘︎ 162
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrtyux
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend challenged me to a hang gliding race, and he got angry after I beat him.

What a soar loser.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.

It's a soar subject.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Some of the gem's of Steven Wright

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1 Β  - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2Β Β  - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3Β Β  - Half the people you know are below average.

4Β Β  - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6 Β  - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7Β Β  - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 Β  - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9 Β  - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a T-Rex that can fly

A Dino-soar

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/needlessnut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I have decided never to talk again about my addiction to aviation puns.

It’s a soar subject.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm in this new business of producing prayer mats with built in ejector seats...

So far the prophets are soaring.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purtassium
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed a glider.

Now I have a soar throat.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eye that can fly?

A real eye soar

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilvanstaal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Icarus flew too close to the sun and failed miserably.

What a soar loser.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Extreme kite flying

I've decided to explore the competitive world of extreme kite flying. I pledge to keep grounded, no matter my soaring success.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c3c3ume
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Upon seeing the Wright brothers fly their aircraft higher and higher,

The newspaper reporter stated "isn't that a sight for soar eyes!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Dina says Hey !

Dina: Hey

Me: hey Dina, do you like hang gliding ?

Dina: No, why ?

Me: I'd love to see Dina soar

Dina: was that suppose to be funny ?

Me: I thought it was Dina mite ! πŸ’₯

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of animal is a pterodactyl?

A dinoSOAR.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/true_loneliness
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I took some aspirin before getting on a plane

Because I knew the flight would make me soar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
You could say that the prodigy pilot...

really soared to the top of his class.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad-joked my classmate

My classmate and I were doing the old rocket-pen trick (You know the one, where you click in the pen and release it and watch it soar into the air.) However, my classmate was having some difficult grasping the intricacies of it.

Classmate: "I just can't seem to get it to lift-off!"

Me: "It appears you have ejectile dysfunction."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitharris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flying T-rex?

A dino-soar

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mialikescorgis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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