A stand-up chameleon.
But hey, it puts food on the table.
Motion censors
This year, I will try to beat that but, I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else...
Polites (pronounced pΙ-lΔ«-tΔz)
They really help people out.
Because they always bring their Eh Game.
Moist Bush.
They have been stepped on for far too long.
They're legends.
It would be wrong of me to look down on them
They printf
... a little bit of salt.
Now I have a nickleless cage...
But every once in a while you find one that is downright shit talky.
cream-ate them
Who doesnβt touch the thermostat.
Backstage crew. Always giving props to them.
They are my idles.
Or leaf them alone!
Because thereβs no honor amongst Steves.
If youβre hot blooded, theyβll check it and see.
"If you forgot, I'm not going to remind you."
No, I respect othersβ privacy
Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact Iβve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
is to not fall asleep at a wake.
A lot of people take them for granite.
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
They have a lot of spirit
Dad: Hi son, Iβll go make you some lunch like the respectful father that I am, unlike those other dads that call their son hungry. The audacity of some people.
.....I mean, the shit they have to go through
I had to go to court and was wearing a suit and tie. My 10 year old daughter thought this was fantastic for dress up was very interested. I took this as a teachable moment and wanted to tell her about showing respect for your personal appearance and showing up professionally. So I asked her, do you know why I dressed like this? She said to be professional. I said I want to show that I respect myself and I have respect for the court so I dressed accordingly. She laughed and said, "You mean you dressed acourtingly."
tl;dr
Daughter dad joked me about wearing a suit about dressing accourtingly
Sirloin.
It was legendairy.
Because feet are legends
