I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...
π︎ 135
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...
But it only works one weekend out of the month.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
I parked my car next to a frog reserve...
Apparently itβs illegal so my car got toad away.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 06 2019
My daughter asked me where I wanted to work. I said "The Federal Reserve."
She asked "Why?". I said "I want to make money."
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 15 2019
My little nephew just asked why skydivers only have a single reserve parachute.
I said, if they had more than two they wouldn't be called pair-o-chutes.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 02 2019
I tried to reserve an appointment at the library.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 19 2019
Took a tour of the Federal Reserve the other day.
The tour guid told an offensive joke about pesos, so I started to leave. He said "stop that was not what I mint"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 30 2018
I work on a nature reserve in the UK. My dad came to visit today.
π︎ 113
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︎ Sep 08 2013
I cashed in on my reserve of puns to get my students today
It's a visual one
http://i.imgur.com/GGFgAtd.jpg
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 08 2017
What do you do when the federal reserve acts negligently?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 13 2015
Roommate rummaging through the wine shelf: "dude, what's the difference between this Cabernet standard and a Cabernet reserve?"
me: "one called ahead!"
she left.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 15 2016
Called my local restaurant for reservation. Hey are you guys open for reservations? They replied four to nine today
Looks like they are too busy today
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.
When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."
π︎ 96
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.
They were completely booked.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Told my daughter I was unable to make reservations at the library..
They were completely booked
She wonβt talk to me
π︎ 84
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.
They are always fully booked.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I had reservations about getting a hand transplant initially...
Afterwards, I felt differently.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
I just tried to make reservations at the library...
I couldnβt get one though. They were fully booked
π︎ 31
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︎ Mar 18 2020
If you call a restaurant on a Native American reservation and donβt feel so certain about it...
then youβre having a reservation reservation reservation.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 02 2020
My Dad and I went to a 5-star hotel. Hostess: Do you have reservations?
Dad: No, I am confident that I want to eat here
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
Wife: "What are you making for dinner tonight, honey?"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Restaurant reservation
My dad just said the next time we go to a restaurant we should say weβre dinner party of 5, then when we get called show up with just the four of us and say, βweβre not as hungry anymore we waited a bitβ
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
I took my dad to a nice restaurant.
The hostess asked us if we had a reservation. Without missing, a beat my dad said, βNo, I am fully confident I want to eat here.β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
You know why thereβs no reserved parking at golf clubs?
Because everyone has a handicap
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
A man walks into a hotel and says 'I have reservations'
The guy at reception says 'let me put your fears to rest'.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
What banking system do birds use?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
Iβm sorry sir no more reservations
π︎ 48
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︎ Apr 16 2019
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.
They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 02 2019
While checking in at the hotel: desk person asks if we have reservations, Dad says βwe did, but we came anywayβ
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
I wanted to make a reservation for a table at the library today...
Too bad they were completely booked
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
At O&B with Dad. Hostess: 'Do you have reservations?'
Dad: 'No. I'm confident I want to eat here.'
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
My first job was at a Navajo reservation, running power lines to all of the outhouses
I wired a head for a reservation.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
I went to the veterinarian hospital the other day and was surprised to see that they had a small room reserved just to treat diving birds.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 09 2018
π π
π︎ 4k
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︎ Sep 12 2019
My buddy works at a restaurant on a Native American reservation.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 18 2019
The great thing about your parachute not deploying
Is that you have the rest of your life to fix it.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
The hotel I work at got a huge reservation today
250 chessmasters for some huge tournament. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I have to listen to chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 15 2018
My mom asked my dad to take the garbage out
So he made reservations for a couple at a restaurant
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
I walked into a restaurant for dinner and the hostess asked if i had any reservations.
To which i replied, βno, Iβm pretty sure i want to eat hereβ.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 18 2018
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
I tried to reserve a spot at the library
But they said they were booked
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 01 2017
I couldn't get a reservation at the library
They were completely booked
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
i tried to make reservations at the library,
but they we're completely booked.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 17 2017
I couldn't get a reservation at the library...
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 26 2016
I wasn't able to make reservations at the library. You see they're...
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 06 2018
Tried making reservations at the library
But they're all booked up
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
I wasn't able to make reservations at the library,
they're completely booked.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 02 2017
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