I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...

completely booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kones_6999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...

But it only works one weekend out of the month.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesmazingj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I parked my car next to a frog reserve...

Apparently it’s illegal so my car got toad away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruminino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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My daughter asked me where I wanted to work. I said "The Federal Reserve."

She asked "Why?". I said "I want to make money."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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My little nephew just asked why skydivers only have a single reserve parachute.

I said, if they had more than two they wouldn't be called pair-o-chutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to reserve an appointment at the library.

But they were booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Took a tour of the Federal Reserve the other day.

The tour guid told an offensive joke about pesos, so I started to leave. He said "stop that was not what I mint"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I work on a nature reserve in the UK. My dad came to visit today.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dimiling
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
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I cashed in on my reserve of puns to get my students today

It's a visual one http://i.imgur.com/GGFgAtd.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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What do you do when the federal reserve acts negligently?

Sudafed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paul2520
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Roommate rummaging through the wine shelf: "dude, what's the difference between this Cabernet standard and a Cabernet reserve?"

me: "one called ahead!"

she left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackiejack1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Called my local restaurant for reservation. Hey are you guys open for reservations? They replied four to nine today

Looks like they are too busy today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randombot777
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.

When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prettiestvirgin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.

They were completely booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kurlythemonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my daughter I was unable to make reservations at the library..

They were completely booked

She won’t talk to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.

They are always fully booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I had reservations about getting a hand transplant initially...

Afterwards, I felt differently.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just tried to make reservations at the library...

I couldn’t get one though. They were fully booked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B7dust11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you call a restaurant on a Native American reservation and don’t feel so certain about it...

then you’re having a reservation reservation reservation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rezzurict
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad and I went to a 5-star hotel. Hostess: Do you have reservations?

Dad: No, I am confident that I want to eat here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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Wife: "What are you making for dinner tonight, honey?"

Me: "Reservations. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Restaurant reservation

My dad just said the next time we go to a restaurant we should say we’re dinner party of 5, then when we get called show up with just the four of us and say, β€œwe’re not as hungry anymore we waited a bit”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeMomma247
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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I took my dad to a nice restaurant.

The hostess asked us if we had a reservation. Without missing, a beat my dad said, β€œNo, I am fully confident I want to eat here.β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You know why there’s no reserved parking at golf clubs?

Because everyone has a handicap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SanguineL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a hotel and says 'I have reservations'

The guy at reception says 'let me put your fears to rest'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eak125
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What banking system do birds use?

Feather All Reserve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heleninthealps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I’m sorry sir no more reservations
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.

They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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While checking in at the hotel: desk person asks if we have reservations, Dad says β€œwe did, but we came anyway”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeBawb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make a reservation for a table at the library today...

Too bad they were completely booked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZEPHYRight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
At O&B with Dad. Hostess: 'Do you have reservations?'

Dad: 'No. I'm confident I want to eat here.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My first job was at a Navajo reservation, running power lines to all of the outhouses

I wired a head for a reservation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the veterinarian hospital the other day and was surprised to see that they had a small room reserved just to treat diving birds.

It was a little aukward.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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πŸ“š πŸ“–
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jout-12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy works at a restaurant on a Native American reservation.

He's a Sioux chef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TFareCool
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The great thing about your parachute not deploying

Is that you have the rest of your life to fix it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcatice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The hotel I work at got a huge reservation today

250 chessmasters for some huge tournament. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I have to listen to chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubai97b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My mom asked my dad to take the garbage out

So he made reservations for a couple at a restaurant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a restaurant for dinner and the hostess asked if i had any reservations.

To which i replied, β€œno, I’m pretty sure i want to eat here”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trenton00
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.

I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...

completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kones_6999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to reserve a spot at the library

But they said they were booked

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMasterMann
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I couldn't get a reservation at the library

They were completely booked

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ar1stocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
i tried to make reservations at the library,

but they we're completely booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrosthighs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

they were fully booked.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klave7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
🚨︎ report
I wasn't able to make reservations at the library. You see they're...

Completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panic_monster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Tried making reservations at the library

But they're all booked up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loWbAtTeRy67
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I wasn't able to make reservations at the library,

they're completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrosthighs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report

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