Archimedes took a bath and then said "Eureka!"

When I smell myself, I say "You reek-a!" and then take a bath.

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👤︎ u/Babamots
📅︎ Oct 20 2020
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Which insect smells the best?

Deodor-ant.

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Jan 27 2020
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What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?

Eu-reek-a

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📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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My father made my sister smell with some spices...

Pap-reek-her

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👤︎ u/maccer20
📅︎ Apr 19 2020
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A local man was causing a disturbance in town because he stunk like fish.

He was reeking haddock on the neighborhood.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Feb 12 2020
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All year, I've been telling my friends I just want to meet someone, fall in love be married by my next birthday...

which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"

And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.

I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.

But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.

With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and proposed to them both (on separate nights, of course) and they both said no. In fact, though they never knew of each other, I went from two good things to both of them not returning my calls. I guess proposing in a mall food court (for Jenny) or down on my knees in front of the bathroom at a minor league baseball game (Susan) were not my best laid plans, doomed to fail. Or maybe I just reeked of desperation.

So the morning of my birthday, I was practically in tears, deep in depression as I knew I missed my deadline. But my friends came though, kind of. They took me out bar hopping and then we all went back to my place where they had a stripper waiting in my favorite chair. She got up, sat me down, and gave me a grinding lap dance. She said nothing, but after a minute, stopped, turned around, looked me in the eye and said "one." Then she started up again, stopped after a minute, turned around and said "two..."

This went on all night until she got to "forty."

It's been a few months now, and I'm not too sad. My friends really tried to get me married, and after two near mrs, I guess it was the thot that counts.

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📅︎ Aug 28 2019
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I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer.

My dog reeks, should I be worried?

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📅︎ Mar 08 2018
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What did the Italian scientist say to his assistant with B.O.?

YOU REEK-A!

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📅︎ Sep 23 2017
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What does the scientist say to the sweaty scientist next to him?

Eurek-a!!!

get it cause you reek = eurek

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👤︎ u/Brawhalla_
📅︎ Mar 06 2017
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Just in time for the holidays...this joke

I love Hollandaise sauce, and put it on everything, but the lemon juice in it reeks havoc on my dentures. My dentist said he has just the thing: dentures made of chrome. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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👤︎ u/DukeSwanky
📅︎ Dec 18 2015
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Laughing at a fart joke, a thought occurs to me...

The reek shall inherit the mirth!

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👤︎ u/Talmet456
📅︎ Aug 19 2012
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New Year's Day with the family

In the morning


Dad: Ugh, you reek, you probably haven't showered all year!

Me: ...

Dad: AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

At breakfast


Dad: I have to go to the store.

Me: Why?

Dad: All our bread is from last year!

Me: Groan.

Dad: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Another New Year's with the family...

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Dec 31 2013
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